On typical cold somewhat gloomy winter afternoon in the North of England I found myself at a family gathering. Pleasantries are exchanged,and I heard over to the manpit where the fire is along with barbecue stand.
I look around me there is food good conversation going I am surrounded by the 7 wisemen all fairly older than myself relations of some sort and something struck me, I was the only one among them not married……..yet.Why that was significant I have no idea and perhaps its not but nonetheless the thought came to me.
This lead me to something I always wondered,what truly really made their marriages work?They all seemed fairly happy and interacted well with their respective other halves, so me being the questioning kind I thought I’d ask,and the answer I got somehow shocked me. One of them to me plainly ” GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE YOU GET ALONG WITH AND NOT SOMEONE YOU LOVE” I stood there for a few minutes as they took it in turns churning out advice and to my surprise most of them agreed with this train of thought.
Now this got me thinking.I can attest to ever loving 2 females (I mean the real thing) and I must say the feelings were too pure and intense I mean you now when you know in fact about 10 years went by before I could the feel that way again even though I was seeing other people in between,so yeah I kinda know what love feels like and what it doesn’t.
Now here is the problem,the ones that you do Love you cant get along with.Just cant seem to happen.2 hrs and you ready to kill eachother.
And yet the ones that,that feeling is missing, it is just effortless and can hardly remember when your last fight was, of course you do have your occasional little disagreements that’s bound to happen 2 different personalities cannot always agree on stuff,but I am sure you can make a distinctions on the levels of conflict an chaos.
Some things I disproved along the way:
Love conqures all;- no it doesnt.
Love eachother strong enough you will work it out:- no you won’t.
If you Love something let it go and if returns …Blah blah ….please!!!do me a favour.
All you need is Love …….right right.
Now of course this is based purely on observation and some,(and empasis on some experience)which makes me wonder if the wisemen had a point.It was some thing to think about on the long drive down.Normally I wouldn’t take this kind of approach I always had a belief that love will happen when it does but with where I am right now I dont know,what if they were right? Its kind of hard to argue with the facts and history.Or perhaps its something only men will admit to?
I just strongly believe in getting married once,and this is just a personal view,the history I have had, of course,lets just say if I had gotten round to getting married I would have been divorced at least once or maybe more than once but that is irrelevant its just serving a point that I realise things do go wrong and I am not knocking divorcees.Needless to say my life is a little different now values change and so do aspirations and desires,and when it comes to marriage I just want to get it right the first time around.