Ur woman; a helper or hindrance? What do you do when the other half is a Haggar?


And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.Gen 2 v 18

So it is then established that it is not good for man or woman to be alone,but wait a minute now why is it so often that the very half that we can’t live without is often the very half that influences us to do well let’s just say that which we would not do had we stayed in and watched a football game with the boys,or had we golfed it.I of course am speaking from a male point of view which being one isn’t so hard.

Curious then that when I look around me I see most marriages/relationships that your doom/absolve lies in who you end up with.

Now don’t get me wrong here but in his quest for man to find a wife he most often finds a knife.

Notice I said quest meaning the journey to marriage which covers all relationships in general.In my pondering while looking at my own life,friends,colleagues and history itself the biggest downfall of a man has always been a woman! Oh I feel something here.Wars were started, entire cities fell,blood brothers killed eachother,credit scores ruined all because of this beautiful creature called a woman, I need some help here.

As men we should know better but we don’t,check this out;

Eve: influenced Adam to bite the fruit.

Sarah:influenced Abram to have Ishmael and She even laughed at God once.

Jezebel: well had some influence on her husband’s relentless pursuit and killing of prophets.

Job’s wife:told him to curse God and die.

Helen of Troy: Greek mythology so beautiful her abduction brought on the Trojan war.

Cleopatra:her beauty was equally marched with her conquest of strong and powerful men.

Your ex/ current other half:………….

It then occurs to me that a man’s success and happiness is as determined by the woman in his life.Coz look if your woman is willing to overgo a couple of extravagant Christmases so that the business can do well in year 1 then you have been lucky indeed and she will be smiling all the way to the shoe shop later on.
Conversely I have seen a few men whose credit score has been ruined,the business has disappeared,others are working just as hard trying to keep 2 families afloat for once divorced and remarried one has 2 families he just doesn’t get to see the other one much if at all.

It is my conclusion then that a woman is this powerful,beautiful,God laughing,serpent speaking(what was eve thinking anyway talking to a snake?) influential man pulling creature.A kryptonite if you will,which has the ability to bring even super-man to his knees.

This then makes me wonder for when I look at Sarah though she was the ideal one still had her faults but when I look at Haggar she is the one you are attracted to for all the wrong reasons but just can’t seem to help yourself,and this always ends badly (for you the man that is) there is always a price to pay turmoil,emotional pain,financial pain,spiritual and even mental anguish to physical pain at times (or most times lol, depends)

So the question is and still remains ……

……a woman:a helper or a hindrance and what do you do when your other half is a Haggar?

28 thoughts on “Ur woman; a helper or hindrance? What do you do when the other half is a Haggar?

  1. If you read limbiley why Adam and Eve were sent from the garden, you will see it was because both of them had disobeyed God not just Eve, Adam had listened to Eve and not God, it was still his choice to disobey, Eve did not make him sin he chose too, as we all do and so we suffer the consequences of doing so, we reap what we sow!.

    When your nearly a 100 limbiley and someone tells you your going to have a baby, what will your reaction be? Abraham also knew God’s promise of having a child by Sarah, but he still chose to sleep with another woman instead of waiting on God, he even lied before about Sarha not being his wife.

    Job’s wife had just lost all her Children and her home and now her husband who was a well respected man was sitting in the gutter picking his sores and being wrongly accused of doing evil by his friends… No for sure she was not Happy Clappy and like Job she did not know it was all inflicted by Satan’s hand not God’s, but He understood her suffering and did not condemn her, He gave both Job and her much more than they had lost.

    You need to read Esther, limbiley, she saved the Jewish Nation and many woman have been used by God in History for good, including Phebe and Mary who was chosen to give birth to Jesus and yes even Rahab a Prostitute is in the Genealogy of Jesus. But we remember also some woman have been very badly treated by men in History and still are today.

    What did God tell Hosea to do, who was he to bring home and forgive, who did he instruct in righteousness. Hosea did not give up on Hagger nor did God and He has not given up on the Jews who were chosen to bring God’s Hope to the World, Jesus was a Jew and all Jews who come to heart repentance will be grafted back in, yes a Remanent will be saved and we as the Children of the promise or Spiritual Israelites will all be saved too.

    So what do you do limbiley when your other half is a Haggar? or what does a Christian woman do too if her husband is in darkness? what does God tell us to do through Paul who spoke His Truth and not just for his generation but for now…..

    1 Corinthians 7:12-13 If any brother hath a wife that believeth not and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

    1 Corinthians 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, Love your wives, even as Christ also Loved the Church, and gave Himself for it;

    Two wrongs limbiley don’t make a right, we choose as Christians to do what is right regardless of what our husband and wife do, even Adultery can be repented of and forgiven.

    Christian Love from us both – Anne.

    • Thank you for your teaching from a biblical point of view,it’s always nice to hear from you,I suppose the hardest concept is to suffer in silence,in any case I think this is a familiar route we have been down before.

      I understand and appreciate the struggles these women were faced with.
      I just I observed the influence women seem to have on men and the after effects.

  2. I suppose I am extremely fortunate. I have been happily married for almost 28 years. In that time I have benefitted for our relationship and I hope my wife feels the same way.
    To your question: I would love her and treat her with respect. To do any less would be a failure on my part.
    Good luck tomorrow.

    • Thank you for your comment and for the well wishes.Today went well.
      Glory to God!

      28 years! Wow that’s awesome need to learn the secret to this,I know it’s Jesus.

      • I am glad to hear it went well.
        Of course it all starts with Jesus. I had great role models, my wife did as well, knowing any relationship takes work we invest in it and when we fight we seek to end it as quickly as we can.
        It will sound strange: hardest thing I ever did and the most rewarding thing I ever did.
        Enjoy the rest of the Lord’s day Limbi. It is always great to hear from you.

  3. Beverley,
    Would you please tell me where in the Bible it says we were all Saints in Heaven before we were born? I know others that believe that as well but have read the entire Bible and have not found it. I would like a reference. Thank-You.
    Sorry Limbiley for changing the tone of your blog a bit. Can’t reach Beverley any other way.

  4. Lol πŸ™‚ I love how you always have all these theories intertwined with a bit of humor, great work, it makes for brilliant debate. I agree a lot with @authormandycarroll we each need to take responsibility for our actions and unfortunately I don’t know what it is that men generally have the audacity to always blame a woman for what is wrong in their lives but are the first to take credit for their success. Men and women are very different and we need to understand that first, we do not react to things in the same way and men are certainly more naive than women that’s just how nature works, girls are more mature than boys etc. Okay, like I said, very debatable lol πŸ™‚ but a great topic as usual. Blessings xxx

    • Thanks for stoping by always great seeing you,
      All these points you ladies make about men are true,I cannot deny that.
      What took my interest was that “influence” thing.

      It’s like you said girls are smarter than boys and they know it too.There were these group of girls back in primary school who never used to carry their school bags,and I recall once boys fighting as to who gets to carry the bags,as the girls stood and watched in amusement.Guess we are gullible from a young age,why change now I say.

      Can’t fight with nature

  5. There is so much i could tell you but would you believe me? Now take Lucifer for instance; what if he wasn’t a snake to begin with but was a man in spirit form, therefore Eve wouldn’t have spoken to a snake but another man. Also if Adam had not partaken then Eve would have been cast out of the garden of Eden and both her and Adam would not have been able to fulfill the other commandment we know they were given, which was to go forth and multiply. And what is Lucifer didn’t understand all of God’s plan and didn’t realise that he was doing that which he was suppose to do. And if Adam and Eve had not partaken of the fruit, which was no way sexual as they didn’t even know they were naked until afterwards, then they would still be in the garden and we would not have been born. Everything as a purpose!

    • I agree to everything you have said and each point is as valid as is intelligent.

      I was however merely pointing out her role and influence she played in directing Adam to the fruit,of course he should have known better but still eve played that “female” role.

      As for Lucifer being in male form,hmmm don’t know about that,it’s always devil in a blue dress unless you saying lucifer is a crossdresser (which I wouldn’t put past him/her) …….sorry I lost the point I was trying to make

      • I am sure that Lucifer is not a cross dresser although he has many guises and is very subtle in his ways. However he is definitely a man – Isaiah 14:12 How art though fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!… This and the following verses in Isaiah 14 are very interesting because not only do they say that Lucifer was once in heaven they go on to show that he wanted to take over and place himself above God. Jeremiah 1:5 ..before though was formed in the womb i knew thee… and Gen 2: 5-7 it is only after the earth and every thing on it was made that God then gave it life.

      • Touche? I thought you wanted an answer?

        We all lived in heaven as a spirit before we came to earth, so yes there are female spirits just as there a female humans and besides God made man after his own image both male and female.

  6. In her defense, I would laugh at God if he told me I was going to get knocked up in my 90s. Since Sarah and Abraham had the same father, I would start wondering if I couldn’t get pregnant bc we were half-siblings…

  7. Do not place the responsibility to make wise choices..(without using hmmmm…body parts) onto a woman…because there are some bad apples out there…
    There are just as many men who do what women do and even better..because they have a base of financial and societal power..women will never have…
    Please do not make women accountable for a mans choice…as easily as he steps in he can step away…
    Adam was present as Eve was being tempted..yet he remained silent…why?..so he could later blame her…as you have just done…
    Sarah husband was present and could have refused to sleep with another..and do not tell me men have not laughed at God…it happens every second of every day…
    It is easy to pass the buck..and say..she made me do it…
    yet it seems to be a harder task to say..I chose this path…no one held a gun to my head…
    Sort of like watching porn..can give a zillion reasons why we have no control over it..but no one is willing to do the work…God says…if it makes you stumble..pluck it out…but no one is willing to step away from the sultry man or woman..the one that makes our towels curl with sin…nor throw out the computer or the 500 inch television we watch people fornicate on…because well..it is someone else’ s fault…
    I got6 news brothers and sisters…
    What path you travel..is your own stinking fault…step up to the plate..and take responsibility….
    The easiest thing in the world is to blame a woman…how original..and the same ole same ole..continues…

    • Okay suppose I was a bit over zealous in my portrayal but mind you I was merely portraying traits which I have seen before in women not all women but some women.And there are some men out there who have made some silly decisions that they need to be held accountable for.
      I was just saying women do have a strong influence on men and wondered which woman they ended up with.

      If I seemed to put the blame on the woman let’s put it down to presentation error.

      Now I have some explaining to do my other half is on the phone (she too must be read this)

  8. You are coming from a man’s perspective. Could I not say the same thing about men? If you want to go Biblical, The Snake told Eve she could eat from the tree. Satan was in the Snake if not the Snake itself; therefor Satan is the cause of all this mess, Not necessarily Woman who was part of man. And did you notice Adam immediately put the blame on woman for making him eat the Apple when they were caught.. Just like a man to try to get out of his own responsibility. “But God, That woman you gave me, gave it to me.”
    Some women are very faithful to their men after marriage, as we should be. It is not always the woman at the root of the problems. Be careful on this one. You are treading.

    • Yeah I kinda noticed I am treading there,
      Great points not all women are like that it’s like I was trying to say they are Sarah’s who help you and Haggai’s who hinder you.The lucky ones are the ones who find their Sarah’s in this life.
      But am not saying all women are evil but some are,just like other men are and some not

      I loved your persepective though.

  9. Limbi is it just me, or am I sensing a theme here?

    Relationship is easy. Just like love. Take away the fences, boundaries, expectations, return on investment, all of that kinda stuff – and the question becomes: what took me so long to find out?

    Now that one I ask myself daily!

      • Not a bad theme!

        No expectations? The greatest example is that big guy in the bible. Expectations – no. Joy, sadness, laughter, tears, grief, hassle, all of that stuff – loads of.

        Ain’t Love great? πŸ™‚

  10. Does, Christ not say there are some who’s calling is to be a eunuch? and Paul (taking the blame) went further is saying it is better for a Christian to be single?
    But these don’t really answer you question, so more directly to that: we (Christian Men) are called to be “evenly yoked” … Meaning that, as Paul puts it, “if we can’t keep it in our pants, we should get married”; but to one who Also believes. Thus you are both using the same “play-book”…
    again admittedly not fully targeting your question… But it’s a starting place, for we are also given the 4 “easy” steps to conflict resolution: examine yourself (what’s may be holding you back, what your motives are, and if/when you should move forward) allowing the one you Follow to Lead; next is to confront the offender (with truth spoken with love); thirdly, if needed, gathering around you and the offender some wise council and/or good mediators (for both protection and right perspective); lastly, again only if needed, to bring Elders among the Body into the matter, and publicly declare the issues (barring it all, sharing the burden, comming clean) – then if all else fails to bring reconciliation … You break all ties to that indavidual.
    Why bring this up? Well in a true marriage, like Abraham’s, divorce is not really the option (not for those who truly follow the Way), but going against God’s plan (making your own) isn’t either… Adultery ends in strife, but not divorce… But if you first went and married a “Haggar” … Well the yoke is uneven, or at the “least” she is Not God’s will for you; so for the former you may let her go (if that is what she wants, after a long conversation, and the presentation of the gospel); for the latter you seek reconciliation at all cost, knowing that mutual separation may be the final result, but what “two have agreed upon, shall be sealed in heaven as it is on earth” and what God has brought together no Man should break… Right?
    Remember this in closing, Haggar wasn’t necessarily a “bad person”, she at least shows respect and loyalty to her masters, even after Sarah is known to despise her. Then at the most we see God comming to her and blessing her, giving her comfort in her banishment… So while having a Haggar as your help meet is not the ideal, be a Man like that of Christ and stand beside her, loving her, and if the strife is too great that one cannot walk in Unity, then seperate, And Stop Complaining !

    • Okay,
      Someone hit the coolaid early this morning.

      Nonetheless thank you for your much treasured response which I would use if I understood any of it,could just be lost in translation
      Or could just be you misunderstood my post completely

      Either way me and my house thanks you.

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