“He is 29,an entrepreneur,former day trader,father of zero,married to ………., he is from London,he has issues,he is crazy,immature….” -people-
Notice then that this is how people who know you describe you to other people.
It then becomes curious that since we identify ourselves by how other people describe us,we then begin to form an identity of ourselves based on how other people see us and not how we see ourselves.
I then begin to understand the importance of association.Let me break it down:- being lucky enough to be with a woman who builds you up instead of breaking you down is key.My other half refuses to see the negative aspects of me and my failures,a fact that she just reminded me of (funny I never saw this before),though I have tried this woman she yet remains strong ….I never knew how lucky I was until……….
Anywhoo I then realise that the definition of myself has been solely based on the opinions of the people around me.
My sisters always have a way of building me up and often times when I have done something which disappoints them I find that I too am disappointed.The same is true for my mum and dad.
This then means that the people who you think are important to you in your life,thier opinion matters to you to the point that your identity start to form around their opinions of you.
I hope I haven’t lost you here…stay with me now.
The danger is then in taking opinions of negative people who you think are important to you.
It’s easy not to care when someone says a negative thing about you when you already know they don’t like you anyway,they “haters” and “I don’t have time for that”, “am not the one” that don’t bother you so much.
But the issue comes in when someone pretends to like you when they really hate you and you think their opinions come from a place of love but it’s all coming from a hateful place and u begin to form an identity around this and their opinions.
It’s funny,these people will be picking their teeth after they have had thier pound of flesh from you,please bring me a word of comfort,speak medicine and life into my soul ….am already getting here,but you full.
The issue of mid life crisis
as best described by my friend http://dietrying999.wordpress.com Brings me to a revelation as to what happens.Essesiantialy it is the opinion of those around you and the media that tells you that your hair is receding and the belly is getting bigger and the energy isn’t what it used to be …,you are having a mid life crisis ah!! the power of suggestion which I would further describe as an
Identity crisis………who are you?
I just wonder who influences your identity? who do you let define who you are?
It’s often those who are around us,in a subtle way this happens and before you know it you are defined in a certain way :-
And before you know it you start to believe this and miss your destiny and abandon your dreams.
I present this to you
You are not your job,not your family,not your issues,not where you live or where you are from,you are not what you do.But most importantly you are not who they say you are.
Take control take charge of your life,no ones knows you better than you .They are not there when you are crying yourself to sleep or when you are about to jump off a bridge or when you sit alone in a dark empty room and wonder “how did I get here?”
Your opinion about yourself should be what shaped your identity not anyone else’s.
If you can’t shut them up,shut them out.
Your life is your own be mindful of how you walk it.You cannot tell me how to walk my walk, I ll take your advice but in the end this is my walk my destiny.
Stop being handled and handle your life,the most tragic thing is living a lie that someone professed on your life.
So today I ask you who are you listening to? who is influencing your life? Or should I say who are you allowing to influence you?
Identity crisis …… ………who are you?