“3 most stressful things in life are getting married,moving home and having a baby” –survey–
I can officially say that I am tired,mentally drained to the point of exhaustion,emotionally pulled and tagged in all directions,my patience tried in ways I never thought possible,my resilience tested beyond grounds,my tolerance levels challenged.
But hey that’s what u get with wedding,moving home and a baby
One down 2 to go, you know life will come with it’s challenges but this wow!! I never saw this one.Attempting all 3 at one time will overwhelm you I don’t know what I was thinking.
Allow me a little background if u will.
My getting married was about time,now due to the nature of my work I am the more flexible one besides my other half makes more than I do anyway so the logical thing to do was to move home to a new continent all together, in any case the wedding plans started to come up as did family and friends who wished to “help”(who knew so many relations could ve so many opinions??)
And the fun began,ideas,how do we keep everybody happy,suggestions,not one night has gone by that we didnt argue coz this relative wanted this or that relative wanted that.Venues menus colours OMGosh, I feel like ……………Turquoise&Fuscia
Now comes the moving:- my other half had to do most of the paying,after all am new to the country I don’t know what’s what and you know I need a little time to get things moving …..bla bla…..anyway we find this beautiful place and it’s gorgeous even by my high standards I approve.But wait the guilt.I feel bad when she leaves for work feel bad when am having a shower coz she paid for the electric and she even got me a gym membership and a library card…
Hello is this normal I feel bad walking on the carpet,I feel bad reaching in the fridge, the Playstation has been off for weeks.
Worst part is the emptiness when she goes to work “all by myself”
Now the baby talk,we already agreed that I would work from home and she would go back to her career,now I don’t know,,,,,I feel bad enough right now,I ve loads of nieces and nephews,cousins …I am black after all,so I can raise a baby.(it does take a village to raise one and I well …..never spent time in a village but the principle counts)I could be wrong.ANYWAY
But it’s this feeling am worried about
I ve attempted to plan a wedding,have moved home and I am drained.What will having a baby and be a stay and work at home Dad do to me?
Did I take on too much?
Help me here as I attempt to tackle the big 3:-
Wedding,moving home and a baby
There may come a day when the XY gene inside of you wants to bust out and provide for the family as well, so enjoy it while you have the downtime. If you are married, you are “one” anyway. It’s not like she’s your Sugar Mama. My husband stayed home for several years with our elementary schooler, having dinner ready when I got home from work, etc but I began to resent having to earn the bread, and he felt that pull to provide. Gender roles are pretty entrenched in us. So now he works a job he hates, like most people do, and I stay home. Plus, you never know how attached she may become to that baby once she sees it smile. She may never want to leave home again. That said, it’s a free country (oh, wait–I hope you’re in a free country), so you have freedom to choose.
Lol..it’s a kinda free country but yeah. I loved reading your story,
I think the hardest is the urge to “provide” as a man I find that hard to get rid of.
But I ll stay home look after the baby while she does all the hard work,besides I enjoy cooking and love my a Playstation when the baby is asleep ..so……….
I win lol
I’ve missed reading your posts – glad I’m back! 🙂 First of all, congratulations!
Life is all about the giving and receiving of love. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be in equal parts every moment. Sometimes you’re giving the fruits of love and sometimes you’re receiving them – but it’s all an act of loving. You’re going through a huge transition in your life – wow, really huge! Be honest, considerate, patient and kind – and just remember that it’s all about love. You know how to do that. You’ve got this, Limbi. And God’s love has you always…
Thanks for the vote of confidence
I was still behind the scenario reading ur blog …..kept me alive.
Lots of love my sister
What country are you living in now?
All to revealed in due course
A) one day at a time
B) one day at a time
C) one day at a time
D) enjoy each moment
Yes wish it were that easy