As our days are …..so is our strenght

Its a cold pain,a chill you feel right in your bones -limbiley-

There is nothing more imaginable like the pain of loss,we have all lost things before but I doubt many appreciate the pain of loosing something that is connected to you.Your fresh and blood.That which is a part of you or at least could have been.

This weekend was beautiful,in the middle England on a cold Saturday morning a man treks through the cold weather with a bag on his shoulder,he has been away and she doesn’t expect him to return home just yet.He has managed to catch the 5:11 transport out just to be with her,if only for that weekend,upon arrival he then rings her and says “look out your window” and a joy spurns in his heart as he sees her red painted fingernails draw the curtains.Much of their day is spent in the shops and they get to meet family and friends,its a productive day.Later these two lovers in essence prepare for a Sunday service,as he irons her grey shirt he is greatful and thankful to heaven for not only the iron but for giving him someone to iron for,in matching suits they step out.All is well and it is good,its obvious the Love and peace is flourishing.

Fast forward a few hours later he must leave her again Because circumstance demands it,Now this is where it gets complicated.You see now on the transport back he gets a txt from a friend,this guy has a wife at home and she is expecting a child,and his txt is thus “i am at the hospital with the mrs” eagerly he answers back congratulating them,cos in essence the water broke and we should be welcoming a new life into the world.

He boast to his other half that he left behind and they jokingly but seriously wonder and consider when this will be them,celebrating and welcoming a new life of their own.

It is not until later that the friend messages back with the words “sorry mate,we lost him my son is gone” they suffered a miscarriage,at 8+ months.

At this point I know that there was a life kicking and very much alive but its gone now,my hopes are dashed and I end arguing with the very person who I was planning to share that experience with,she is my sarah,my other half,my promise,my meet from God, but still I am afraid, coz you see now am afraid of how its going to be should the very thing that happened to my friend happens to us.

He calls me later 0800 hours he seems okay and I admire his braveness,but deep down I know he is hurting,such pain cuts deep and its a chill that sets in the bones.

I could only comfort him as best I know how,with the word of the Lord.

I then remember something else,as our days are so is our strength,so I was praying the wrong prayer,the evil worrysome day is upon us,how do we get through it?

as our days are ………..so is our strength.

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………….but God

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. -Joseph-

I do not think there is anybody out there who has questioned more about the things that happen in my life and thier significance.If anyone of you have read any of my post you may feel the conflict,the hurt,the confunsion,the crazyness the …….

Last couple of years have been challenging to say the least for me I experienced personal loss in any and possibly every aspect of my life.I lost people dear to me (death etc),finances,career,business,you name it I have lived it.The only thing I haven’t lost yet is my health and my mind though questions may be raised to the latter.

Its funny though I have been reflecting on how exaclty I got to this point in my life.Upon further investigation I realised that it wasn’t so much how? when? who? what? wherefore? … but why?
And then I found the answer to this wonderful question.All this time I just was wondering running around quite the headless chicken.And the answer was right under my nose.
Dont you just love it when it all comes together!!!!

The reason I have had a hard time these years is ………..drum roll………I dont know.
I do not know.

What I know is that throughout all this I have had a but God moment.
Everyone has something in them that will not allow them to give up or give in.No matter what your beliefs are. I know everybody beleives in a higher power of some kind.

I find it funny,remember the last time you hit that little toe on the door? hurt like hell didn’t it? whose name did you call out to? or that time you were stuck in traffic and late for work you went Oh my …..

Anyway whatever your beleifs its not important, I just saw something through my tough times,I had a but God moment.Looking deeper I saw several times/situations when & where things could have gotten worse but they didn’t.These were things out of my control and there was really nothing I could do to change the trajectory,something in me just knew that it was not my doing.
Ever get the feeling you have a guardian angel?

I know another thing I was always afraid,and this fear was only visible to a perhaps only one or two people if that.On the outside everything was ok I was happy,smilling,laughing, but going to bed was a different matter all together.I was constantly afraid of loosing it all.All that which I thought had value and I couldn’t live without.And guess what? It happened.

Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.-wikipedea-

As a person of faith I beleive that no matter what happens to me I will be okay,…in the end.I just thought it important to take a minute and recognise the omg moment of our lives,am talking about that moment in your life where its all going wrong and you are saying if one more thing goes wrong today …“I dont know what am gonna do”.Then something unexpected positive happens.

No matter what your personal beleifs are I am sure we have all had this moment.
Whether you credit to the Easter bunny,the tooth fairy,Zeus,budha it doesn’t really matter the moment was there regardless.

For me living without fear has allowed me to rebuild my life into that which was better before,and the pun is I can see better results in my efforts now than there ever was last 10 yrs put together.Am I back where I was before?of course not I am heading to a better place. I am in a much better place than before I have a sense of peace I never had before.And that alone was worth the price of admission.I have learnt to value that which matters the most.

I wish I could tell you there is a reason why all this stuff happens, I don’t know that.
I wish I could tell you its an easy time going through transformation I would be lying…it hurts.
I wish I could tell you you wont be confunsed,but you will be,even more so than before its a process.

All I can say is keep going,when you are in a desert keep walking.Nothing lasts forever.No matter what life throws at you,even and especialy the bad negative bits,though they were meant for evil…………………..

……………………………..but God.

you can’t handle the truth……….its double jeopardy

Love the sinner hate the sin -Christians-

Yes Sin,oh the struggles with sin and sinfulness,sin conciousness,the conviction and condemnation.Often I have heard it from veteran Christians,  it was clear to me that their understanding was quite flawed in their interpretation.Not so much to the statement but what followed after.

This left me with more guilt and condemnation,the last thing I wanted to do was pray.Curious because those that preached this to me seemed to suffer from the very same syndrome.OH this sin thing has kept Christians in bondage for ages.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.-Hosea 4 v 6

Not only will your ignorance cause you harm ,you face the danger of rejecting the true message (by your lack of knowledge) and in your misunderstanding you will also discourage and deceive others.My my my if only Jesus saw you now in the flesh “Christians” How long would he suffer ye?

 

The bible being the mind of God in print,I consulted it.But furthermore I prayed for grace,wisdom and revelation, that in my getting such wisdom I also get understanding.

In my getting,in his sovereignty he brought me to a court room,at first I was confused.Then I recalled a movie I saw once. A few good men, quickly I recalled the  double jeopardy rule (no connection yet).These were to tie in beautifully for me later on in the day.

Stay with me now….For I cant truly do this piece justice until we address the core and that’s sin.

 

Sin

For the interest of space and time look it up if you don’t know what it is.

Effects of sin

-Loss of (but not limited to): (i) Relationships (ii)loss of fellowship with God (iii)ministry/titles/position (iv)loss of rewards etc.

-Sin is harmful to others

But above all else Sin dishonours God.

Perhaps this the most important of all. The person  I honour the most on earth is my Dad,this stops me from doing certain things because I know some of my decisions, my faults and failings will be a reflection of my father and of how he raised me.The man I have become is a reflection of the man who he was in my life when I was growing up.

The notion of honour is widely understood throughout different cultures too.Take the American Marine Corps their motto is semper fi ( Fidelis) latin for “always faithful/always loyal”.Ancient Japanese warriors the samurai would commit seppuku a ritual suicide (sticking a sword through the belly) which would satisfy their bushido (a code of honour) rather than face punishment, humiliation and defeat would rather die.In star trek there is an alien warrior race called the klingons and these are vicious battle minded race  who consider dying in battle an honour and an old  aged klingon is at times flowed upon.”perhaps today is a good day to die” wolf. Okay okay too much. But you get the idea how far honour is important.And you as a Christian should rather die than sin but thank God for Jesus we don’t have to die. 

 

The fact is:

You will sin oh yes no matter who you are saved or not you will sin.

It is purely because of  your sinful nature from birth,what matters is what you do from that state of sin that matters.You are in fact in a court room guilty of sin.Lets see how this plays out.

The judge:

God

God is the Judge. (S)He is just and cool. Yes God is cool,  he is therefore then  Justice because  he is Just and cool  as ice = Just+ice = Justice …….anybody?no?……..okay, tough audience whew!

The prosecutor:

Satan 

“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night”. –Rev 12 v 10

Now this one is relentless,your adversary,the accuser of the brethren you will not bring him down on your own.His track record speaks for itself he brought down Eve with deception in the garden,King David fell victim to lust from bethsheba that caused him to murder an innocent man,oh king Solomon the wisest of them all fell and started worshipping idols and in recent times look at Judas after he finished with him through greed this time,the man hanged himself next through guilt and condemnation . Indeed when he strokes you he is about to strike you.

So be sober minded vigilant you don’t compare.

The defence attorney:

Jesus Christ the advocate

The son of man the captain of my salvation the kinsman redeemer, my lord, my saviour, oh I could go on all day, the scroll opener,the son of righteousness.

It is undisputed Jesus died on the cross for us,for our sins and he rose up from hell conquering death:

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Rom 8 v 34-

Who better to defend you than he who paid for the very crime that you are being charged with?He has done the time for you already the punishment paid in full,why are you even in court?Formalities the law has to be followed, God is just and respects principles you will have due process but still the process must ran.

This is why you need you some Jesus.

  

 

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In the movie  a few good men Tom cruise went hard on Jack Nicholson’s character just like the enemy will accuse Christians,(and sometimes misinformed Christians towards eachother and unbelievers/backsliders) you need to be bold in you answer and tell him ” you can’t handle the truth!!” earlier on in the movie he told Tom cruise’s character how he was so bad,dangerous and unafraid of him. He said:

“I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans, who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge and make me nervous.”

You should tell the devil:

“I make my coffee every morning,eat cereals and porridge oats with my cup of tea along side Jesus in my kitchen.The shower I am in is guarded by angels so don’t think you can come in here with your demons and make me nervous” 

But you need you some Jesus,that alone without Jesus wont be enough,they can’t convict you or condemn you with something that Jesus already paid for. That’s double jeopardy.

God is just he wont allow that.To those that struggle with sin conciousness the very plague even in the church, no, the very plague especially in the church ,do me a favour confess, repent and get on with your life walking with God.Guilt and condemnation are not from God.

Confession (n) is to simply agree with,to admit,to acknowledge,be of the same mindset,

For continued fellowship (walking intimately with God by active faith) sin is to be removed by God through confession. Then you are forgiven.

Note however this is not a license to sin 

So shall we then continue to sin ?

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” -Rom 6 v 1-2- 

The point of repentance is that you highlight  the wrong doing in an effort not to continue doing it and this is why this is important:

Dangers of continued sinning ; (i) treats sins lightly and ignores its evil destructive potential and consequences both on God’s glory and our fellow man (ii) ignores God’s primary plan for us to transform us into Christ like image (iii)It ignores and forgets God’s discipline (iv) misses the whole point of confession which is confess to identify and stop the sin.

 

And if anyone or anything including yourself tells you otherwise here is the answer you should have…

you can’t handle the truth……………….its double jeopardy.

….stay strong for 5 more minutes.

“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” -Jesus Christ-

Aaahh!! yes the flesh is indeed weak.This particular text comes from a time where the disciples were sleeping instead of keeping watch with Jesus while he went to pray,just an hour past and yes, they were fast asleep.This got me thinking as I reflected my own dilemma to a situation that transpired on the weekend.In my quest for answers I engaged a muse(and I bet she is smiling now as she reads this……. 🙂 ). I also meditated,pondered,prayed and procrastinated on  the temptation to act.

I always find it easier to use illustrations to make or at least to try and make a point, but still putting the idea across,so please if you would indulge me:

If you have ever bought a car used or new, perhaps one of the important things is specs,among other things.

Anyway specs,follow me here, the car is as beautiful as a car can be, the body work is flawless in its design,the paint work is marvellous,the head lights which are the eyes and the windows to the soul are as piercingly bright as they are engaging.You get on board and are met with the aroma,that essence that just gives you peace,the interior is leather,all black and sitting there you say to yourself  “I belong here,its a match made in heaven”   

Once a  wisemen said all that glitters in not gold so then I proceed to examine the engine,the car is started up and the engine being the brain essentially is just as flawless as the bodywork.Even the sound which is the voice is like that of a singing angel. Oh I must have this car.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him  (psalms 62 v 5) 

The natural impulse is to try and get this car straight up,though the scripture above would have me be sure and wait a bit.Further more whether I get it or not depends on the negotiations with the dealer (that’s the other tricky part see?) but all I know is I need a car.

“The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.” -Sun Tzu-

I heard this story about a confederate general in American civil war.The numbers were even,skills were equal so were the weapons used, death was all around but in the end his side was victorious.Later when asked how he was able to win a battle that was so evenly matched. All he had to say was “we held and pressed on for 5 minutes longer”  

My car illustration serves as something you want in life a dream,a holiday destination,a different job, whatever.I don’t want this for evil on the contrary,and it is within my grasp.

Make no mistake whatever obstacle you have in your life towards your dream is an enemy and should be treated as such.Learn the importance of waiting for right time.You know you best,but no one knows you better more, than God knows you,God has better on your best.So be diligent and wait on God’s perfect timing but knowing this however is a challenge in itself.

Even in the world these ideas are reflected again by Sun Tzu who said:

“He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not,will be victorious.”

Note the order of the words (i)Prudent: acting with or showing care and thought for the future                                                                       (ii)waiting          (iii)victory.

In my situation there was nothing wrong with wanting the car but when you operate in the flesh you are at danger of falling asleep, picked apart by vultures and making mistakes. My dilemma falls in the balance do I get the car or do I not? I understand the importance of perseverance but I also know the danger of too much self effort that lacks guidance. 

Apostle Paul nailed it best:

“The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against
the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the  other; so
that ye cannot do the things that ye would.” Gal 5 v 17.

There is always going to be conflict,I need some answers here,this struggle puts me at risk of being indecisive for sometimes inaction is in fact a form of taking action and I may see my dream car being driven off by another buyer.What do you do when you don’t know what to do. 

In the meantime  do I go and get mine? or do I wait? what if that which I want to get  gets got? (pardon the lingo).   

In my quest to victory I……… 

stay strong for 5 more minutes. 

God ain’t your grand daddy

Grand Pa the kind loving figure,who always has a gift for you,cuddles you,tells you these amazing stories whilst sitting on his lap.Smells a bit funny but always feels safe in his arms.I remember my Grand dad,always felt protected around him he could even defend me against my parents and they listened it was great.A certain familiarity,able to shape him and perhaps manipulate him a bit with a smile.

Recently a post caught my eye in passing and I was engaged .Now this was a writer who wears their heart on their sleeve,more like myself probably why I was attracted to their content in the first place.The more I read the more I related to them,what was interesting though was how they had managed to twist the image of God to fit around a fix for the troubles they faced.It was apparent they wanted to have things their way and when that didn’t go the way they thought  excuses were made for God as to why he didn’t meet their expectations , Scriptures were quoted out of context to fit the results hoped for.

I mean this thing read like a blueprint for God to follow in fixing  the challenges of their life.

Then I had a  Luke 15v20 And when he came to himself…… I had a moment of truth

Beating the Pharisees at their own righteousness game:  Matt 5 v 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

I was ashamed of myself at how judgemental I was and how self righteous I had been.My perfect self, roaming around passing judgement on others,how dare I?Then I read some of my own writing and oh boy that did it.It was time to confess. I was being hypocritical.

Later on I started to think, I mean really think, on how I react to my own trials,it was a time to have a sit down with my black handsome self and have a little chat.

In my trials I went from being SELF RIGHTEOUS which then gave me a sense of SELF ENTITLEMENT which only served  to get me into the WILDERNESS and the length of time in this dry place promoted my PRIDE and in the end after not getting my way and what I wanted, I was just angry,angry,angry  ANGER. 

In Steps my:

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS:My judgement of others led me to believe that I was somehow better than others.After all I never put God in a box,I am strong,a lesser man would have blown his brains up,look at this fella crying here if he only knew what I am up under in here,I am still worshipping in the midst of my trial really Limbiley? I mean really?

SELF ENTITLEMENT:My established notion of being “better” made me special right off,so I am owed   something,meaning I could pick and choose the blessings I want after all I am better and owed something,a reward is due to me for being good, mmmhhhh!!!! But God don’t owe you nothing( excuse the lingo).

THE WILDERNESS: Imagine my surprise when ended up in here,oh the dryness,the heat,the vultures picking at my beat up flesh,thorns on my sides,oh ya all don’t know what am talking about.This was the bareness of trying to do things my way and the symbol of the desert like condition of my soul.A complete reflection and oh did it mirror my state of affairs.
 

IN A PROUD STATE:

my refusal to be apologetic

my refusal to be humble

my refusal to be ashamed of my failed self efforts

my refusal to take responsibility of such failed efforts (it wasn’t me)

my refusal to see what I was doing wrong.

 

THEN THE ANGER: The result of the proud person in me not getting the thing they wanted,not getting my way.I must have thought I was Sinatra.Now I am just mad and bitter.

I believe most of us go through these stages in our lives,when we think God ought come and pull us out,and why has he allowed this to happen?oh Bless me Lord!!fix my husband Jesus,I put this boss of mine in your hands heavenly father,God!!!!I bless my enemies!!! really saints? I mean really?Foaming at the mouth and throwing fits,all up in tears all emotional,hear my cry oh Jehovah!!!!

The trouble with us believers is believing that OUR TROUBLES OBLIGATE GOD when they in fact  do not.

That’s right YOUR TROUBLE DOES NOT OBLIGATE GOD.Now he will get you out but you got  to recognize its all because of JESUS and God’s GRACE (john 1v15-17) .Its through God’s GRACE that anything good happens to us.We live in an evil world full of evil things and evil situations inhabited by people that do evil.Evil is all around us. Eph 5v15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

By GRACE you were saved through faith,not by your works,undeserved & unmerited, not your doing Eph 2v8.

By GRACE you are able to cry to God and make your petitions known through prayer.

By GRACE you are able to do great signs and wonders like Stephen in Acts  6v8.    

By GRACE you are strengthened in your weakness.It is when his power is made perfect in weakness 2 cor 2v8-9.    

 

 

I could go on.This is the right dose of  reality and truth needed for our approach to God for a fruitful 2014.Just what the Doctor ordered.Get what you really need and not what you want.Get wisdom and in your getting get understanding.Live stress free and content and have confidence in approaching God the right way.Most of all have the proper attitude and reverence.  

 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4v16 

Just Remember GOD AIN’T YOUR GRAND DADDY.

Thou shall not worship iphone

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It was the first day of 2014, in a crowded  family room and one the wisemen in my family asked the screaming young ones in an effort to settle them down,that if they collectively name the 10 commandments they would get a treat. It was then that my 5 yr old cousin went “you shall not worship iphone.” We all paused then burst out laughing,obviously confused he went  “yes! mommy told me”.

This on the drive back home got me thinking about  idols in general.

They say home is where the wi-fi connects,thus if you enter any household and the wi-fi connects you are in fact home.This then means that where you get home and the shopping is put down then afterwards its settling down time when everyone gathers in the living room for a little family time.The TV comes on and after a few minutes you notice no one is fighting over the remote or on what to watch and it is in fact 4 or more of you present. Curious because the TV is as much 3D as it is Smart  and  measuring at about 51 inches,it should be an attractive notion to look at,I am thinking.

Now this is odd to me because growing up there would always be a fight for the old  TV,one wants to watch Michael Jackson on the VHS,the other wants to play a game on the Sega,but its news time etc etc.

Upon further inspection you realise you are on your smart phone and your other half on hers/his.The other 2 are equally as engaged in their own activities one is their on handheld games console and the other ones are just as busy on the several tablet in the household (naturally).The TV is just  there  purely to guide you where the furniture points towards.Perhaps a little background noise with all these +boxes,+decoders,recordable gadgets no one really watches TV like before,at least I don’t.

Looking at my phone and seeing how much time I spend on it was an eye opener,though I don’t worship my phone per se, it got me thinking about how Israel was taking God’s gifts given to them and using the very same blessings to worship other gods with.

I refer to the time they melted all the jewellery they had and made a golden calf out of that.(I find it interesting that the very first tablet was broken at this point, remember Moses threw the tablets in anger and they broke, hidden message perhaps?I don’t know.) Now don’t go getting excited throwing  all your  gadgets around now breaking everything in sight, now that would just be silly,and I am not saying they are evil either.People do evil,Gadgets ………not so much.

 

 

 IDOLATRY:

 In theology it is the worship of idols, In general others define it as great devotion, reverence or excessive admiration.
 
I wonder just by solely on the definitions above, what is your idol?
To some of us its our other half,to others its our jobs,others its money,others its our car,others their kids,or is it that rock/rap/pop star(bieber anybody?),a single malt,jimmy choos,could be that PS4 that’s causing all the fights already coz you up till 6am,could be the girl in the next office cubicle,or the Starbucks guy that got you buying Cappuccinos and you don’t even drink coffee.
So what is your idol?
 to quote Joshoua 24v15 As for me and my house we will serve the lord. So I say to you all
                      thou shall not worship iphone (lol).
 
 
 
 
 
Disclaimer:I used the iphone, Playstation for illustrative purposes only and because I  do own and use such  said products  while I  personally see them to be superior products than their  rival counter parts, this is just a personal view only and is not meant to be taken as a form of advert/promotion of said products.Neither do I deem such products as EVIL or  of any  such influence.Definitely not a pair of shoes and certainly not Justin B :).
               Happy 2014  to you all,its gonna be a great year.
Disclaimer
      

The “real” Christmas Day the 26th

Now that that’s over with;
The fake people, fake affections, polite conversations, it all starts to creep back up and real life begins to return but it really won’t hit till early January.

A fellow blogger pointed out something about Xmas that reflected my feelings completely,how she put it again? oh yeah “cruella deville all year long and want to smile at Xmas”. All this stuff  about its a special time of year that we show our loved ones that we truly care and appreciate them makes me sick.Question comes to mind then that isn’t this something we should be doing all year round anyway?

I mean I don’t need a special day to prove to my loved ones that I care about them and fellas if you are using this day to show how much you care for your ladies/family then something is wrong there as it is equally for the ladies who put a spread and look after everyone for this day alone then after the presents and dinner is done its back to you now who,to the family members that will go back to ignoring each other all year round till yeah ……..you guessed it,next Xmas.

Now I do believe periods like this and birthdays, anniversaries should not go unmarked and uncelebrated,it just has to be for the right reasons.We live in a society today where everyone is looking for an excuse to either party or celebrate something to justify spending money.

We have an office party,hair,nails,dress,new tux,refit the kitchen.

My cat made a friend gonna throw a do invite the neighbourhood.You get the idea ridiculous stuff.

Clearly Christmas has lost its true meaning a long time ago,I mean its all about people rushing in bad moods in shopping, family members getting  together exchanging presents,eating,drinking and that’s it really. I do  however take advantage of today,its a day for me that sales are on and I see it as my real Christmas day,and it has a been a tradition of mine to go out spending and get whatever I want as long as I can get a good deal then why not?

Its a relief,you should be able to just get out there at  any time of the year and get what you want if you can afford it of course,same goes for showing love for one another,why wait for a “special day” these are things that should be done everyday,anyway.

Makes me loathe Christmas day  for what society  has made it  become and what it represents,the way it changes people really evil on the days before (especially in rushed last minutes shopping cause you just cant turn up without a present now can you?) and extremely pleasant on the day then,well back again yo yoing around,I can’t stand that and people like that.

Where are all the real people gone to these days?

So today I go forth and keep the tradition going to get something ridiculously priced just coz I can,no excuses,no pressure as today is my “real Christmas day the 26th”

Suppose I am alone in this.I wonder what other’s do today besides fight and be depressed ,or return the kid(s).It can be a sad time of year.

The Last Samurai

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I was only a long train journey today and found myself just staring out the window.For some reason this movie came into my head,strange cause this first in 04 when it came out and the DVD is somewhere in storage.I am an extremely visual and auditory person and this has been rather problematic for those close to me for when I see a movie once or twice I will be reciting most of it,and that can be quite annoying or so I have been told.I don’t mean to do it but it just happens sometimes.

If you missed the movie somehow the plot is basically an American Captain who is haunted by what he has done on the battlefield and as a result he has a drinking problem,a functioning alcoholic of sorts.He is hired to train the Emperor’s soldiers in Japan as they are to fight against the Samurai.He then gets captured by the Samurai and brought back to their village and it is then that his journey starts.

Anyway,going through the movie in my head one scene among many others came to my mind was when Algren (Tom cruise’s character) was in talking to Katsumoto,the head of the samurai clan that had captured him.It went something like this:

Algren: [shouts] What do you want from me?
Katsumoto: What do you want for yourself?

This questions I have asked at times in my life frustrated with not getting any answers,thinking that God is holding me captive somewhere without me knowing what the purpose is.The more I saw the response the more light bulb went in my head.

Later on in the story Algren goes through a detox and was screaming for Sake (a Japanese alcoholic drink) and having nightmares,this was clearly a guy with demons,lets face it we all have a few of those.We see a little later slowly getting to peace with himself spiritually and mentally,he kept a diary, so a fellow blogger he was.He had this to say in it:
” This marks the longest I’ve stayed in one place since I left the farm at 17. There is so much here I will never understand. I’ve never been a church going man, and what I’ve seen on the field of battle has led me to question God’s purpose. But there is indeed something spiritual in this place. And though it may forever be obscure to me, I cannot but be aware of its power. I do know that it is here that I’ve known my first untroubled sleep in many years.”

Later on he writes:
“What does it mean to be Samurai? To devote yourself utterly to a set of moral principles. To seek a stillness of your mind. And to master the way of the sword.”

With each moment I was replacing what he was saying I instead asked “what does it mean to be a Christian?To devote yourself to a set of just morals and values.To renew your mind.And to master the Word of God.”
At this point he is suffering nightmares no more,the addiction is gone,he has finally found a measure of peace.

There are many great scenes and conversations between the two many characters,both learn from each other as evident in another conversation;
Katsumoto: You believe a man can change his destiny?
Algren: I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.

At this point I am relating more and more that before I was merely doing what I could waiting on the Lord to reveal my destiny and my purpose to me,only I didn’t know it at the time.

The ending sees Algren meeting the Emperor who at this time has a change of heart and he knew Katsumoto who at this point has been killed in battle and I find this exchange interesting:
Emperor: Tell me how he died.
Algren: I will tell you how he lived.

Like most of us the Emperor was interested in the end,but it would seem to me that Algren had opened his eyes so to speak,renewed his mind and saw that its not the end (result) that matters more but the journey.

In our walk through life we have questions,we may be broken,in pain,lonely,lost,angry,confused,bitter,broke,in addiction(and I believe addiction is not the problem in itself there is always an underlying issue,look at the relapse rates trying to cure the addiction and not dealing with what’s causing it but that’s a post in itself in the future) whatever it is,the good news is that like you too can have an ending like Algren,though it maybe a bit hard to find a Samurai clan that will help deal with your issues.You could follow my example and try God,Free of charge and 24/7 365 support,and only one prayer away through Jesus.

Right before the end credits a narration
“As for the American Captain, no one knows what became of him. Some say that he died of his wounds. Others, that he returned to his own country. But I like to think he may have at last found some small measure of peace, that we all seek, and few of us ever find.”

Wow peace we seek but only a few us find.You too can be The Last Samurai.

What do you do as you wait?

What do I do while I wait?

I will sing and praise,I will worship and I will get into the word and I will fellowship.I saw this today “faith makes things possible not easy” Yes.. Yes. We got Salvation through Faith and it was given to us by his Grace Eph 2 v 8.

Grace being a gift is given, and it is that same Grace that should see me through; for his grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in weakness,it then stands to reason that when I am weak I am strong.But my destination is not the problem for I know where I am going and I can foresee my promise coming to fruition because Jesus said it is finished.It is not so much my unbelief or that I am allowing my circumstance to dictate my feelings and thoughts or that my faith is shaken,it is more that this is what I am in right now as I wait:

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What do you do when you are in this as you wait?

My concern is what condition am I going to be in when I arrive at my destination of promise.

What bruises and scars will remain from the journey?

What  were the lessons learned along the way and what will stick?

Lord I know You and I know your Word But what do I do?I am armed with all this knowledge about this situation,But yet here I am again.I trust in you,I believe and yet I feel the way I am feeling now.

So what do I do as I wait?……………