Tears of the sun

And when he came to himselfLuke 15 v 17

The measure of a man isn’t what he does when he is being watched but what he does when he is alone……

I wonder how well would/should one cope when the support network around them collapses or just isn’t simply there anymore.

Notice then a young man who has left home and is in a new city,the environment is fresh,crisp and as mint as it is evil.The temptation is just too much.The martinis are as dry as the skirts are short.Oh lord this boy here needs help,he may be a decent enough person but the structure which helped uphold his life just isn’t there and in his arrogance he underestimated the pull his demons had on him! Some help is needed here.

In the midst of all the sin he fights to get back in his holy father’s grace.In his empty apartment he sits on a rather comfy chair but he has no peace,the words come out “as he is so am I” but hold on a minute here,Jesus doesn’t have an empty life nor does he lack anything,so what’s wrong with this picture here.
“Lord I measure my Life and it doesn’t seem to add up to the promise,I know in my attempts to overcompensate…..I let the devil in.”

Tears start flowing down and they burn.

A voice comes over “you my son are in training, though you have given in,do not give up,you are never alone,the solution to your troubles were created long before you were.For I am your God your father your protector and provider Jehovah Jireh and my provision will be seen,hold on help has been dispatched.”

It is as of that moment that a peace dwells in,a peace that surpasses all understanding.

And when he came to himself…….yes the prodigal son returns home to his father.

All it took was reaching out for help and he did the rest.Provided help where and when it was needed the most,a helping hand was stretched out to pull and soothe the troubled soul, his provision was indeed seen,he is faithful.What was I thinking staying away for so long?

And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. Luke 15 v 20

I wonder who has ever had

Tears of the sun

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………….but God

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. -Joseph-

I do not think there is anybody out there who has questioned more about the things that happen in my life and thier significance.If anyone of you have read any of my post you may feel the conflict,the hurt,the confunsion,the crazyness the …….

Last couple of years have been challenging to say the least for me I experienced personal loss in any and possibly every aspect of my life.I lost people dear to me (death etc),finances,career,business,you name it I have lived it.The only thing I haven’t lost yet is my health and my mind though questions may be raised to the latter.

Its funny though I have been reflecting on how exaclty I got to this point in my life.Upon further investigation I realised that it wasn’t so much how? when? who? what? wherefore? … but why?
And then I found the answer to this wonderful question.All this time I just was wondering running around quite the headless chicken.And the answer was right under my nose.
Dont you just love it when it all comes together!!!!

The reason I have had a hard time these years is ………..drum roll………I dont know.
I do not know.

What I know is that throughout all this I have had a but God moment.
Everyone has something in them that will not allow them to give up or give in.No matter what your beliefs are. I know everybody beleives in a higher power of some kind.

I find it funny,remember the last time you hit that little toe on the door? hurt like hell didn’t it? whose name did you call out to? or that time you were stuck in traffic and late for work you went Oh my …..

Anyway whatever your beleifs its not important, I just saw something through my tough times,I had a but God moment.Looking deeper I saw several times/situations when & where things could have gotten worse but they didn’t.These were things out of my control and there was really nothing I could do to change the trajectory,something in me just knew that it was not my doing.
Ever get the feeling you have a guardian angel?

I know another thing I was always afraid,and this fear was only visible to a perhaps only one or two people if that.On the outside everything was ok I was happy,smilling,laughing, but going to bed was a different matter all together.I was constantly afraid of loosing it all.All that which I thought had value and I couldn’t live without.And guess what? It happened.

Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.-wikipedea-

As a person of faith I beleive that no matter what happens to me I will be okay,…in the end.I just thought it important to take a minute and recognise the omg moment of our lives,am talking about that moment in your life where its all going wrong and you are saying if one more thing goes wrong today …“I dont know what am gonna do”.Then something unexpected positive happens.

No matter what your personal beleifs are I am sure we have all had this moment.
Whether you credit to the Easter bunny,the tooth fairy,Zeus,budha it doesn’t really matter the moment was there regardless.

For me living without fear has allowed me to rebuild my life into that which was better before,and the pun is I can see better results in my efforts now than there ever was last 10 yrs put together.Am I back where I was before?of course not I am heading to a better place. I am in a much better place than before I have a sense of peace I never had before.And that alone was worth the price of admission.I have learnt to value that which matters the most.

I wish I could tell you there is a reason why all this stuff happens, I don’t know that.
I wish I could tell you its an easy time going through transformation I would be lying…it hurts.
I wish I could tell you you wont be confunsed,but you will be,even more so than before its a process.

All I can say is keep going,when you are in a desert keep walking.Nothing lasts forever.No matter what life throws at you,even and especialy the bad negative bits,though they were meant for evil…………………..

……………………………..but God.

you can’t handle the truth……….its double jeopardy

Love the sinner hate the sin -Christians-

Yes Sin,oh the struggles with sin and sinfulness,sin conciousness,the conviction and condemnation.Often I have heard it from veteran Christians,  it was clear to me that their understanding was quite flawed in their interpretation.Not so much to the statement but what followed after.

This left me with more guilt and condemnation,the last thing I wanted to do was pray.Curious because those that preached this to me seemed to suffer from the very same syndrome.OH this sin thing has kept Christians in bondage for ages.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.-Hosea 4 v 6

Not only will your ignorance cause you harm ,you face the danger of rejecting the true message (by your lack of knowledge) and in your misunderstanding you will also discourage and deceive others.My my my if only Jesus saw you now in the flesh “Christians” How long would he suffer ye?

 

The bible being the mind of God in print,I consulted it.But furthermore I prayed for grace,wisdom and revelation, that in my getting such wisdom I also get understanding.

In my getting,in his sovereignty he brought me to a court room,at first I was confused.Then I recalled a movie I saw once. A few good men, quickly I recalled the  double jeopardy rule (no connection yet).These were to tie in beautifully for me later on in the day.

Stay with me now….For I cant truly do this piece justice until we address the core and that’s sin.

 

Sin

For the interest of space and time look it up if you don’t know what it is.

Effects of sin

-Loss of (but not limited to): (i) Relationships (ii)loss of fellowship with God (iii)ministry/titles/position (iv)loss of rewards etc.

-Sin is harmful to others

But above all else Sin dishonours God.

Perhaps this the most important of all. The person  I honour the most on earth is my Dad,this stops me from doing certain things because I know some of my decisions, my faults and failings will be a reflection of my father and of how he raised me.The man I have become is a reflection of the man who he was in my life when I was growing up.

The notion of honour is widely understood throughout different cultures too.Take the American Marine Corps their motto is semper fi ( Fidelis) latin for “always faithful/always loyal”.Ancient Japanese warriors the samurai would commit seppuku a ritual suicide (sticking a sword through the belly) which would satisfy their bushido (a code of honour) rather than face punishment, humiliation and defeat would rather die.In star trek there is an alien warrior race called the klingons and these are vicious battle minded race  who consider dying in battle an honour and an old  aged klingon is at times flowed upon.”perhaps today is a good day to die” wolf. Okay okay too much. But you get the idea how far honour is important.And you as a Christian should rather die than sin but thank God for Jesus we don’t have to die. 

 

The fact is:

You will sin oh yes no matter who you are saved or not you will sin.

It is purely because of  your sinful nature from birth,what matters is what you do from that state of sin that matters.You are in fact in a court room guilty of sin.Lets see how this plays out.

The judge:

God

God is the Judge. (S)He is just and cool. Yes God is cool,  he is therefore then  Justice because  he is Just and cool  as ice = Just+ice = Justice …….anybody?no?……..okay, tough audience whew!

The prosecutor:

Satan 

“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night”. –Rev 12 v 10

Now this one is relentless,your adversary,the accuser of the brethren you will not bring him down on your own.His track record speaks for itself he brought down Eve with deception in the garden,King David fell victim to lust from bethsheba that caused him to murder an innocent man,oh king Solomon the wisest of them all fell and started worshipping idols and in recent times look at Judas after he finished with him through greed this time,the man hanged himself next through guilt and condemnation . Indeed when he strokes you he is about to strike you.

So be sober minded vigilant you don’t compare.

The defence attorney:

Jesus Christ the advocate

The son of man the captain of my salvation the kinsman redeemer, my lord, my saviour, oh I could go on all day, the scroll opener,the son of righteousness.

It is undisputed Jesus died on the cross for us,for our sins and he rose up from hell conquering death:

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Rom 8 v 34-

Who better to defend you than he who paid for the very crime that you are being charged with?He has done the time for you already the punishment paid in full,why are you even in court?Formalities the law has to be followed, God is just and respects principles you will have due process but still the process must ran.

This is why you need you some Jesus.

  

 

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In the movie  a few good men Tom cruise went hard on Jack Nicholson’s character just like the enemy will accuse Christians,(and sometimes misinformed Christians towards eachother and unbelievers/backsliders) you need to be bold in you answer and tell him ” you can’t handle the truth!!” earlier on in the movie he told Tom cruise’s character how he was so bad,dangerous and unafraid of him. He said:

“I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans, who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge and make me nervous.”

You should tell the devil:

“I make my coffee every morning,eat cereals and porridge oats with my cup of tea along side Jesus in my kitchen.The shower I am in is guarded by angels so don’t think you can come in here with your demons and make me nervous” 

But you need you some Jesus,that alone without Jesus wont be enough,they can’t convict you or condemn you with something that Jesus already paid for. That’s double jeopardy.

God is just he wont allow that.To those that struggle with sin conciousness the very plague even in the church, no, the very plague especially in the church ,do me a favour confess, repent and get on with your life walking with God.Guilt and condemnation are not from God.

Confession (n) is to simply agree with,to admit,to acknowledge,be of the same mindset,

For continued fellowship (walking intimately with God by active faith) sin is to be removed by God through confession. Then you are forgiven.

Note however this is not a license to sin 

So shall we then continue to sin ?

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” -Rom 6 v 1-2- 

The point of repentance is that you highlight  the wrong doing in an effort not to continue doing it and this is why this is important:

Dangers of continued sinning ; (i) treats sins lightly and ignores its evil destructive potential and consequences both on God’s glory and our fellow man (ii) ignores God’s primary plan for us to transform us into Christ like image (iii)It ignores and forgets God’s discipline (iv) misses the whole point of confession which is confess to identify and stop the sin.

 

And if anyone or anything including yourself tells you otherwise here is the answer you should have…

you can’t handle the truth……………….its double jeopardy.

….stay strong for 5 more minutes.

“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” -Jesus Christ-

Aaahh!! yes the flesh is indeed weak.This particular text comes from a time where the disciples were sleeping instead of keeping watch with Jesus while he went to pray,just an hour past and yes, they were fast asleep.This got me thinking as I reflected my own dilemma to a situation that transpired on the weekend.In my quest for answers I engaged a muse(and I bet she is smiling now as she reads this……. 🙂 ). I also meditated,pondered,prayed and procrastinated on  the temptation to act.

I always find it easier to use illustrations to make or at least to try and make a point, but still putting the idea across,so please if you would indulge me:

If you have ever bought a car used or new, perhaps one of the important things is specs,among other things.

Anyway specs,follow me here, the car is as beautiful as a car can be, the body work is flawless in its design,the paint work is marvellous,the head lights which are the eyes and the windows to the soul are as piercingly bright as they are engaging.You get on board and are met with the aroma,that essence that just gives you peace,the interior is leather,all black and sitting there you say to yourself  “I belong here,its a match made in heaven”   

Once a  wisemen said all that glitters in not gold so then I proceed to examine the engine,the car is started up and the engine being the brain essentially is just as flawless as the bodywork.Even the sound which is the voice is like that of a singing angel. Oh I must have this car.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him  (psalms 62 v 5) 

The natural impulse is to try and get this car straight up,though the scripture above would have me be sure and wait a bit.Further more whether I get it or not depends on the negotiations with the dealer (that’s the other tricky part see?) but all I know is I need a car.

“The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.” -Sun Tzu-

I heard this story about a confederate general in American civil war.The numbers were even,skills were equal so were the weapons used, death was all around but in the end his side was victorious.Later when asked how he was able to win a battle that was so evenly matched. All he had to say was “we held and pressed on for 5 minutes longer”  

My car illustration serves as something you want in life a dream,a holiday destination,a different job, whatever.I don’t want this for evil on the contrary,and it is within my grasp.

Make no mistake whatever obstacle you have in your life towards your dream is an enemy and should be treated as such.Learn the importance of waiting for right time.You know you best,but no one knows you better more, than God knows you,God has better on your best.So be diligent and wait on God’s perfect timing but knowing this however is a challenge in itself.

Even in the world these ideas are reflected again by Sun Tzu who said:

“He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not,will be victorious.”

Note the order of the words (i)Prudent: acting with or showing care and thought for the future                                                                       (ii)waiting          (iii)victory.

In my situation there was nothing wrong with wanting the car but when you operate in the flesh you are at danger of falling asleep, picked apart by vultures and making mistakes. My dilemma falls in the balance do I get the car or do I not? I understand the importance of perseverance but I also know the danger of too much self effort that lacks guidance. 

Apostle Paul nailed it best:

“The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against
the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the  other; so
that ye cannot do the things that ye would.” Gal 5 v 17.

There is always going to be conflict,I need some answers here,this struggle puts me at risk of being indecisive for sometimes inaction is in fact a form of taking action and I may see my dream car being driven off by another buyer.What do you do when you don’t know what to do. 

In the meantime  do I go and get mine? or do I wait? what if that which I want to get  gets got? (pardon the lingo).   

In my quest to victory I……… 

stay strong for 5 more minutes. 

God ain’t your grand daddy

Grand Pa the kind loving figure,who always has a gift for you,cuddles you,tells you these amazing stories whilst sitting on his lap.Smells a bit funny but always feels safe in his arms.I remember my Grand dad,always felt protected around him he could even defend me against my parents and they listened it was great.A certain familiarity,able to shape him and perhaps manipulate him a bit with a smile.

Recently a post caught my eye in passing and I was engaged .Now this was a writer who wears their heart on their sleeve,more like myself probably why I was attracted to their content in the first place.The more I read the more I related to them,what was interesting though was how they had managed to twist the image of God to fit around a fix for the troubles they faced.It was apparent they wanted to have things their way and when that didn’t go the way they thought  excuses were made for God as to why he didn’t meet their expectations , Scriptures were quoted out of context to fit the results hoped for.

I mean this thing read like a blueprint for God to follow in fixing  the challenges of their life.

Then I had a  Luke 15v20 And when he came to himself…… I had a moment of truth

Beating the Pharisees at their own righteousness game:  Matt 5 v 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

I was ashamed of myself at how judgemental I was and how self righteous I had been.My perfect self, roaming around passing judgement on others,how dare I?Then I read some of my own writing and oh boy that did it.It was time to confess. I was being hypocritical.

Later on I started to think, I mean really think, on how I react to my own trials,it was a time to have a sit down with my black handsome self and have a little chat.

In my trials I went from being SELF RIGHTEOUS which then gave me a sense of SELF ENTITLEMENT which only served  to get me into the WILDERNESS and the length of time in this dry place promoted my PRIDE and in the end after not getting my way and what I wanted, I was just angry,angry,angry  ANGER. 

In Steps my:

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS:My judgement of others led me to believe that I was somehow better than others.After all I never put God in a box,I am strong,a lesser man would have blown his brains up,look at this fella crying here if he only knew what I am up under in here,I am still worshipping in the midst of my trial really Limbiley? I mean really?

SELF ENTITLEMENT:My established notion of being “better” made me special right off,so I am owed   something,meaning I could pick and choose the blessings I want after all I am better and owed something,a reward is due to me for being good, mmmhhhh!!!! But God don’t owe you nothing( excuse the lingo).

THE WILDERNESS: Imagine my surprise when ended up in here,oh the dryness,the heat,the vultures picking at my beat up flesh,thorns on my sides,oh ya all don’t know what am talking about.This was the bareness of trying to do things my way and the symbol of the desert like condition of my soul.A complete reflection and oh did it mirror my state of affairs.
 

IN A PROUD STATE:

my refusal to be apologetic

my refusal to be humble

my refusal to be ashamed of my failed self efforts

my refusal to take responsibility of such failed efforts (it wasn’t me)

my refusal to see what I was doing wrong.

 

THEN THE ANGER: The result of the proud person in me not getting the thing they wanted,not getting my way.I must have thought I was Sinatra.Now I am just mad and bitter.

I believe most of us go through these stages in our lives,when we think God ought come and pull us out,and why has he allowed this to happen?oh Bless me Lord!!fix my husband Jesus,I put this boss of mine in your hands heavenly father,God!!!!I bless my enemies!!! really saints? I mean really?Foaming at the mouth and throwing fits,all up in tears all emotional,hear my cry oh Jehovah!!!!

The trouble with us believers is believing that OUR TROUBLES OBLIGATE GOD when they in fact  do not.

That’s right YOUR TROUBLE DOES NOT OBLIGATE GOD.Now he will get you out but you got  to recognize its all because of JESUS and God’s GRACE (john 1v15-17) .Its through God’s GRACE that anything good happens to us.We live in an evil world full of evil things and evil situations inhabited by people that do evil.Evil is all around us. Eph 5v15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

By GRACE you were saved through faith,not by your works,undeserved & unmerited, not your doing Eph 2v8.

By GRACE you are able to cry to God and make your petitions known through prayer.

By GRACE you are able to do great signs and wonders like Stephen in Acts  6v8.    

By GRACE you are strengthened in your weakness.It is when his power is made perfect in weakness 2 cor 2v8-9.    

 

 

I could go on.This is the right dose of  reality and truth needed for our approach to God for a fruitful 2014.Just what the Doctor ordered.Get what you really need and not what you want.Get wisdom and in your getting get understanding.Live stress free and content and have confidence in approaching God the right way.Most of all have the proper attitude and reverence.  

 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4v16 

Just Remember GOD AIN’T YOUR GRAND DADDY.

What do you do when God isn’t funny

GOD HAS MADE ME TO LAUGH AND THOSE THAT HEAR WILL LAUGH WITH ME
-Sarah the wife of Abraham in genesis 21v6 said this just after a blessing from God. –

I want to reflect on the unfairness or what it would seem,this might be a little heavy just after Christmas but nonetheless life goes on.

Notice now then, two sisters who are from the same parents raised in the same household,both are married to equally good men,one has 4 children and just finished telling her sister that she is pregnant again,and her sister has mixed feelings about being happy for her sibling over her own sadness seeing as she has been on IVF treatments for the past 10 yrs and nothing has come of it…she is in fact hurting here and it’s no laughing matter.

Isn’t it funny though how the richer keep getting richer and the fat fatter and the dumb ones well you guessed it.

I have always believed every single thing happens for a reason; a cause and effect kind of thing and I just can’t accept the “things just happen” stance,my brain just can’t accept that.
This led me to a situations where things would happen I couldn’t quite explain with the cause and effect theory for as a man I too have done things which I couldn’t explain why I did them I just “did them”.Some might say that is in fact being human.

As a great apostle once observed:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

So then I conclude that “something” made me do it and it wasn’t just my insanity but there was a cause for the decision I “chose” to take that lead to that particular effect.This then means that nothing “just happens” there is a reason behind the madness.

Now I hope you are still with me up to this point,I don’t wanna lose you just yet..there is a point to all this.

If I am then created in his image then this should at least reflect that if a lesser being such as myself has been given a measure of intelligence to discern subjects like these,then my Almighty Lord God the creator of heavens and earth he who knows all has already seen this,figured it out and knows the reasons why things are happening this way.
I cannot come upon him and be calous and ask childish questions in strife, oh no! that would be foolishness and I know better than that.

But nonetheless a part of me still finds this situation not funny, I am hurting here and what I seek is wisdom and revelation, to, at least understand why what is happening is happening and in this fashion.What purpose does it serve for a man who has so much already to be given more while those that have so little continue to remain in such a needy state if not worse.

It is not that I don’t trust him and in him or that I have lost my faith oh no,I am still here for stronger is he that is in me that he that is in the world and for that very reason something inside me is so strong, I am still standing ……(just).

For my faith isn’t dead and I can show you my works that are a corresponding action to such faith I practice,after all I have been taking the injections,kept the marriage counselling appointments,have been sending out the CV like crazy,been talking to this teenage child of mine that’s acting a fool,praying for this wife to stop hitting me,and for that husband to get it together ……..I have tried it all,and yet the drunk gets away with that hit and run,and the crooked keep filling those pockets,what am I missing here oh Lord?!

I am hurting here.

I remember that

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

And the word continues

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

This indicates to me not to think myself smarter than he who gave me wisdom.So I use that very wisdom to act in intelligence by choosing to believe his promise,follow the instructions and simply WALK BY FAITHand not trust what the circumstances look like.

But I am hurting here oh Lord.

God has made me laugh and all that hear will laugh with me.

so it is not strange for him to make me laugh too.

So I then wonder:-

What do you do when God’s isn’t funny?

What do you do when the other half doesn’t get the memo?

THEY SAY A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
Please observe the images below as a man regardless of his status in the world talks to another woman a little too much while the other half is present.
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Yes,yes she gets “the look” (middle picture) and the man changes seats.
I find it very interesting that regardless of who we are in the world,we all are faced with similar issues and if any men are out there you know once that she has “that look” oh!! you better change seats and shut your mouth and even though you live in the white house soon as you get home you in the dog house.

On a my last post I had great insights that raised more questions that it answered but nonetheless a few were answered and revelation was brought.

ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ALL YOU CAN IS LOVE.ITS NOT ABOUT YOU BUT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT BUT RATHER WHAT YOU CAN PUT INTO IT.

Now all these are noble statements ones that I have churned myself and heard and admired.Nobility,.. yes,yes to be noble.

Then further into my quest in the cyberworld I came across this:
“WHEN SOMEONE MAKES YOU SUFFER IT IS BECAUSE THEY TOO SUFFER DEEPLY WITHIN THEMSELVES AND THEIR SUFFERING IS SPILLING OVER.THEY DO NOT NEED PUNISHING,THEY NEED HELP THIS IS THE MESSAGE THEY ARE SENDING”

Now here, if I am in this situation this then puts me in a position open to abuse and toxicity,for I cannot truly stand in this commotion and not be scaved somehow.Sooner or later I will get marked and my attempts to diffuse the negativity with positivity are more likely to be taken advantage of and mistaken for stupidity and weakness birthing the results of more sufferings on my part,consequently the message I am trying to send has been lost in translation and misconstrued completely.
Funny how easily this happens I am sure most of us have been guilty of this countless times.

I then realise the primary source of our confusion is we send the message hoping the other half will understand and extrapolate the contents of the message there sent and though it may not be in written form,the fact that we have a bond and a relationship it is then a form of communication that by any rights is legally,emotionally, verbally and gesticulatory binding, yes, yes, hence a memo of sorts.

Now what do you do then when the other half doesn’t get the memo?
For years you have been pouring out, giving your all,sacrificing,being there, supporting,understanding and now you are tired,the easy is answer is hang in there but you are tired of hanging in and on,sick and tired of being sick and tired.And your problems got problems of their own.I am hoping a wiser person will come to the rescue here,(not to me personally BTW its all good ATM 😉 of course status of such is subjected to change after this post lol, hope not).
But in all seriousness I wish I could find the answer to this doomer of relationships.
The answer right now is I DONT KNOW hence the question:
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE OTHER HALF DOESN’T GET THE MEMO?

Inspired by the following lovely bloggers in our interactions:

dietrying999.wordpress.com This lady reminds me so much of my elder sister its shocking, inspiring lady.

ecc714.wordpress.com My main man MAO poet at heart God loving warrior.

freedomborn.wordpress.com Lovely&Strong and wise Christian couple from down under Aussie.

justmebeingcurious.com Newcastle supporter but we wont hold that against you.

askinsaneelaine.com Inspiring blog full of life

The Last Samurai

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I was only a long train journey today and found myself just staring out the window.For some reason this movie came into my head,strange cause this first in 04 when it came out and the DVD is somewhere in storage.I am an extremely visual and auditory person and this has been rather problematic for those close to me for when I see a movie once or twice I will be reciting most of it,and that can be quite annoying or so I have been told.I don’t mean to do it but it just happens sometimes.

If you missed the movie somehow the plot is basically an American Captain who is haunted by what he has done on the battlefield and as a result he has a drinking problem,a functioning alcoholic of sorts.He is hired to train the Emperor’s soldiers in Japan as they are to fight against the Samurai.He then gets captured by the Samurai and brought back to their village and it is then that his journey starts.

Anyway,going through the movie in my head one scene among many others came to my mind was when Algren (Tom cruise’s character) was in talking to Katsumoto,the head of the samurai clan that had captured him.It went something like this:

Algren: [shouts] What do you want from me?
Katsumoto: What do you want for yourself?

This questions I have asked at times in my life frustrated with not getting any answers,thinking that God is holding me captive somewhere without me knowing what the purpose is.The more I saw the response the more light bulb went in my head.

Later on in the story Algren goes through a detox and was screaming for Sake (a Japanese alcoholic drink) and having nightmares,this was clearly a guy with demons,lets face it we all have a few of those.We see a little later slowly getting to peace with himself spiritually and mentally,he kept a diary, so a fellow blogger he was.He had this to say in it:
” This marks the longest I’ve stayed in one place since I left the farm at 17. There is so much here I will never understand. I’ve never been a church going man, and what I’ve seen on the field of battle has led me to question God’s purpose. But there is indeed something spiritual in this place. And though it may forever be obscure to me, I cannot but be aware of its power. I do know that it is here that I’ve known my first untroubled sleep in many years.”

Later on he writes:
“What does it mean to be Samurai? To devote yourself utterly to a set of moral principles. To seek a stillness of your mind. And to master the way of the sword.”

With each moment I was replacing what he was saying I instead asked “what does it mean to be a Christian?To devote yourself to a set of just morals and values.To renew your mind.And to master the Word of God.”
At this point he is suffering nightmares no more,the addiction is gone,he has finally found a measure of peace.

There are many great scenes and conversations between the two many characters,both learn from each other as evident in another conversation;
Katsumoto: You believe a man can change his destiny?
Algren: I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.

At this point I am relating more and more that before I was merely doing what I could waiting on the Lord to reveal my destiny and my purpose to me,only I didn’t know it at the time.

The ending sees Algren meeting the Emperor who at this time has a change of heart and he knew Katsumoto who at this point has been killed in battle and I find this exchange interesting:
Emperor: Tell me how he died.
Algren: I will tell you how he lived.

Like most of us the Emperor was interested in the end,but it would seem to me that Algren had opened his eyes so to speak,renewed his mind and saw that its not the end (result) that matters more but the journey.

In our walk through life we have questions,we may be broken,in pain,lonely,lost,angry,confused,bitter,broke,in addiction(and I believe addiction is not the problem in itself there is always an underlying issue,look at the relapse rates trying to cure the addiction and not dealing with what’s causing it but that’s a post in itself in the future) whatever it is,the good news is that like you too can have an ending like Algren,though it maybe a bit hard to find a Samurai clan that will help deal with your issues.You could follow my example and try God,Free of charge and 24/7 365 support,and only one prayer away through Jesus.

Right before the end credits a narration
“As for the American Captain, no one knows what became of him. Some say that he died of his wounds. Others, that he returned to his own country. But I like to think he may have at last found some small measure of peace, that we all seek, and few of us ever find.”

Wow peace we seek but only a few us find.You too can be The Last Samurai.

Fighting an invisible enemy

FOR WE DO NOT WRESTLE AGAINST FRESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES.

I would like to share a certain revelation I have had during my time away.
You know in life everything that has ever gone wrong or hasn’t gone the way we expected it to or anything that brought a result which was unpalatable,we assign blame to it.Whether be it a loved one,a colleague a boss,our pet,an acquaintance,the car broke down,she did this or he did that,it snowed outside,the train was late or maybe am just I am black 🙂 whatever it may be.Saddest thing most times we blame ourselves badly “or maybe I should’ve done this” or “if only I had done that” ………yada yada yada on on and on.

It is a fact then that as human beings we sort explanations and understanding of why things happen the way they do or why people act the way they do.But instead of trying to understand the person or the circumstance understand the root cause.See this thing is like a disease and you have to run a diagnosis.The signs and Symptoms are there and it is in part; all these people around you acting all crazy and being unreasonable,testing your patience,mistreating you all kinds of things,situations where you cant just get a break,everything is going wrong.
I then realised I have been treating the symptoms and been ignoring the disease.For years I had been taking Aspirin for the fever and the headaches instead of an antibiotic to fend of the infection.No wonder I was never healed. Temporary solutions to permanent problem.

Be vigilant; because your adversary,walketh about,seeking whom he may devour

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No matter what position you hold the undeniable fact is we face struggles and situations we just cant at times understand.Are people just inherently evil? Does “stuff” just happen sometime? Do we reap what we sow?……………….so many questions can be asked but that does not really matter because whatever answers we come up with still will not address the issue,let alone help us in our circumstances and whatever issues we are faced with.
No matter where you go,whichever part of the world/city you may move to ,or no matter the new people you meet with, certain traits of people you no longer associate with (negative traits) will try to manifest in your new created associates.The very things you left behind seem to be popping up again only slightly differently flavoured and in a different colouring.But still the same engine underneath the hood.

My Eureka moment came to me here,I had I wasted so much time and energy focusing on the “people” around me (what they did,how wrong it was etc) and paid too much attention to my “circumstance”.My attention had been divided and I was getting conquered indeed.One of the oldest battle strategy.

You have to stop fighting people and holding grudges let it all go,accept the fact that people will violate your values and no matter how distasteful that may be its just a fact of life,and also recognise that your “values” are your own and not everybody will honour them just because you do.

Focus on the bigger picture.
The people around you are not the real true enemy no matter what has transpired (especially if its bad).People in your life are mere conduits brought about to either aid or thwart your destiny,you just have to figure out which and it gets clearer with each passing moment and times its clear from the beginning.Henceforth pick the fights cleverly and with wisdom,leave negative emotions like hatred,bitterness,blame,regret, behind they just weight you down. The signs&symptoms (ie people+situations,the bad decisions,bad luck,the wrongs and results thereof) don’t matter.THEY DO NOT MATTER.Waste no time fighting and worrying about these.Cure the disease not the symptom.

In the Journey that is life we will get sick several times,how will you go through yours?
Will it be with a myriad of untreated ailments?Or will you stop along the way getting healed as you go by.

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Be smart when faced with the odds

in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory.Sun Tzu

So dont just fight the good fight but pick the good fight which you will fight Especially when:
FIGHTING AN INVISIBLE ENEMY

What do you do when God says no?

In my carnal quest to seek understanding and balance my earthly efforts and that which is given to me supernaturally,I find myself yet again struggling with accepting what looks like is obvious (mind you it just appears obvious) and that which I want/desire to come to pass.
The situiation is such that if this is meant to be the way its meant to be then it shouldn’t be this hard or at least it shouldn’t work against me the way it is.

I find I am comparing myself to one apostole who wanted a thorn removed from his side.I have on several occasions questioned why this thorn is present and what purporse it serves except to annoy and frustrate.I am not asking for diamonds nor am I asking for supernatural powers,I only seek respite so that I can walk,talk,breathe, speak and think like a regular Joe.It would then stand to reason that it is his will that I be at peace or at least I experience a measure of it,and it has to be his will because he knows the plans he has for me for a future and hope,for who among you would when his son asks for a peice of bread you would give him a stone? and if he is for us then who can be against us? …..this all attests to me that my best interests are at his heart.

So then what do you do when it all points to the fact that God is saying no?

I know deep in my heart I should just let God be God,but that does very little to ease and bring understanding to my confused soul,for this circumstance is bringing me turmoil.

So my question remains;

What do you do when God says no?