As our days are …..so is our strenght

Its a cold pain,a chill you feel right in your bones -limbiley-

There is nothing more imaginable like the pain of loss,we have all lost things before but I doubt many appreciate the pain of loosing something that is connected to you.Your fresh and blood.That which is a part of you or at least could have been.

This weekend was beautiful,in the middle England on a cold Saturday morning a man treks through the cold weather with a bag on his shoulder,he has been away and she doesn’t expect him to return home just yet.He has managed to catch the 5:11 transport out just to be with her,if only for that weekend,upon arrival he then rings her and says “look out your window” and a joy spurns in his heart as he sees her red painted fingernails draw the curtains.Much of their day is spent in the shops and they get to meet family and friends,its a productive day.Later these two lovers in essence prepare for a Sunday service,as he irons her grey shirt he is greatful and thankful to heaven for not only the iron but for giving him someone to iron for,in matching suits they step out.All is well and it is good,its obvious the Love and peace is flourishing.

Fast forward a few hours later he must leave her again Because circumstance demands it,Now this is where it gets complicated.You see now on the transport back he gets a txt from a friend,this guy has a wife at home and she is expecting a child,and his txt is thus “i am at the hospital with the mrs” eagerly he answers back congratulating them,cos in essence the water broke and we should be welcoming a new life into the world.

He boast to his other half that he left behind and they jokingly but seriously wonder and consider when this will be them,celebrating and welcoming a new life of their own.

It is not until later that the friend messages back with the words “sorry mate,we lost him my son is gone” they suffered a miscarriage,at 8+ months.

At this point I know that there was a life kicking and very much alive but its gone now,my hopes are dashed and I end arguing with the very person who I was planning to share that experience with,she is my sarah,my other half,my promise,my meet from God, but still I am afraid, coz you see now am afraid of how its going to be should the very thing that happened to my friend happens to us.

He calls me later 0800 hours he seems okay and I admire his braveness,but deep down I know he is hurting,such pain cuts deep and its a chill that sets in the bones.

I could only comfort him as best I know how,with the word of the Lord.

I then remember something else,as our days are so is our strength,so I was praying the wrong prayer,the evil worrysome day is upon us,how do we get through it?

as our days are ………..so is our strength.

Advertisements

What do you do when God won’t let you die

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” 1 kings 19 v 4

Anyone had a “I’d like to die moment?” I know I have.

Notice Elijah a powerful instrument of God,drained,depressed and broken down in the desert and asking God to let him die.

Upon reflection on the promise of heaven and how glorious it is,my somewhat dingy moment I have come to the conclusion that I want to go to Jesus.This earth is treacherous,evil and cold and I would rather be home.But I realise that for this to happen I must therefore die,in this I know my life is a gift from God hence not my own so then I can’t end it myself,I must seek permission from he who gave me this gift……..oh I feel something here.

I cry to The Lord “father am tired,am wiery, let me come home,this life take it away!,I can’t take anymore

And he says no,your work hasn’t even begun yet.My my my, Am in trouble here.

What do you do when God won’t you let you die?

See this isn’t just a momentary thing Elijah had done wondrous things and if he wanted to die a strong prophet like him, what more me? Somebody help me here!

What do you do when God won’t let you die?

But wait….

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
psalms 8 v 4-5

This makes me look into my purpose again I must be here for a reason if he didn’t let Elijah die ….and if he didn’t let me die……and if he didn’t let you die ……… Oh ya all don’t hear me.

What do you do when God won’t let you die?

The bigger they are…….the harder

Am I a dog, that thou comest to me with staves?Goliath
20140129-194626.jpg

Seeing the last couple of days I just wonder why we rebel to satisfy the flesh.

Notice then this giant who has never lost a battle,he has no idea what the word lose means,he is a seasoned warrior well versed in the art of war.Much like my self a seasoned warrior of the word,and I should, no, I must be able to stand against any attack and temptation that the adversary throws my way.

But the accuser of the brethren knows me more than I know me,he is somehow able to exploit that very weakness that I have been trying to bury for the longest of time.

And I know there is the spirit man inside screaming so loud to just
stop

When did it come to this why do I do that which I don’t want to do and that which I want to do I do not.

Not only have my decision made me let myself down,above all else I have left HIM down and not to mention her and them.

Oh I need some help here.

Was I too arrogant?
Was I too overly optimistic?
Was I too careless?

Did I not heed the warning?
Did I think the old me had disappeared?

Neither give place to the devil. Eph 4 v 27

We are warned clearly to steer away from giving foothold, but somehow we still do.When are we to learn?

How is it that a season saint (or maybe not so seasoned,as it stands) would go into battle without his armour on?
Have we become Goliaths in our arrogance that we ask if were dogs?

Even David himself knew better,he would rather be chastised by God himself.And he is the one that brought down the giant. When are we to learn?

Heavenly Father I dropped the ball here,
And I ain’t sure how to get out of this one,the guilt and the shame of it all.
Where does one even begin?
But I know what I need to do here,at least I should,run back home to him.

I just wonder how many Goliaths are out there?
How many of us drop the ball just by simply underestimating the challenges we face?
Ignoring the simple problems till they eat away to the very core.

Someone once said the important bit is to get up again after a fall,that the defeat is in staying down.

Someone dear to me just sent this
“I always think that no matter hw big the situation may seem it can still be defeated and great is our victory bcoz the great one lives in US and we shall conquer the world…” – that was needed today.

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1 John 4 v 4

Ah!! Yes

The bigger they are…….. the harder

………….but God

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. -Joseph-

I do not think there is anybody out there who has questioned more about the things that happen in my life and thier significance.If anyone of you have read any of my post you may feel the conflict,the hurt,the confunsion,the crazyness the …….

Last couple of years have been challenging to say the least for me I experienced personal loss in any and possibly every aspect of my life.I lost people dear to me (death etc),finances,career,business,you name it I have lived it.The only thing I haven’t lost yet is my health and my mind though questions may be raised to the latter.

Its funny though I have been reflecting on how exaclty I got to this point in my life.Upon further investigation I realised that it wasn’t so much how? when? who? what? wherefore? … but why?
And then I found the answer to this wonderful question.All this time I just was wondering running around quite the headless chicken.And the answer was right under my nose.
Dont you just love it when it all comes together!!!!

The reason I have had a hard time these years is ………..drum roll………I dont know.
I do not know.

What I know is that throughout all this I have had a but God moment.
Everyone has something in them that will not allow them to give up or give in.No matter what your beliefs are. I know everybody beleives in a higher power of some kind.

I find it funny,remember the last time you hit that little toe on the door? hurt like hell didn’t it? whose name did you call out to? or that time you were stuck in traffic and late for work you went Oh my …..

Anyway whatever your beleifs its not important, I just saw something through my tough times,I had a but God moment.Looking deeper I saw several times/situations when & where things could have gotten worse but they didn’t.These were things out of my control and there was really nothing I could do to change the trajectory,something in me just knew that it was not my doing.
Ever get the feeling you have a guardian angel?

I know another thing I was always afraid,and this fear was only visible to a perhaps only one or two people if that.On the outside everything was ok I was happy,smilling,laughing, but going to bed was a different matter all together.I was constantly afraid of loosing it all.All that which I thought had value and I couldn’t live without.And guess what? It happened.

Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.-wikipedea-

As a person of faith I beleive that no matter what happens to me I will be okay,…in the end.I just thought it important to take a minute and recognise the omg moment of our lives,am talking about that moment in your life where its all going wrong and you are saying if one more thing goes wrong today …“I dont know what am gonna do”.Then something unexpected positive happens.

No matter what your personal beleifs are I am sure we have all had this moment.
Whether you credit to the Easter bunny,the tooth fairy,Zeus,budha it doesn’t really matter the moment was there regardless.

For me living without fear has allowed me to rebuild my life into that which was better before,and the pun is I can see better results in my efforts now than there ever was last 10 yrs put together.Am I back where I was before?of course not I am heading to a better place. I am in a much better place than before I have a sense of peace I never had before.And that alone was worth the price of admission.I have learnt to value that which matters the most.

I wish I could tell you there is a reason why all this stuff happens, I don’t know that.
I wish I could tell you its an easy time going through transformation I would be lying…it hurts.
I wish I could tell you you wont be confunsed,but you will be,even more so than before its a process.

All I can say is keep going,when you are in a desert keep walking.Nothing lasts forever.No matter what life throws at you,even and especialy the bad negative bits,though they were meant for evil…………………..

……………………………..but God.

you can’t handle the truth……….its double jeopardy

Love the sinner hate the sin -Christians-

Yes Sin,oh the struggles with sin and sinfulness,sin conciousness,the conviction and condemnation.Often I have heard it from veteran Christians,  it was clear to me that their understanding was quite flawed in their interpretation.Not so much to the statement but what followed after.

This left me with more guilt and condemnation,the last thing I wanted to do was pray.Curious because those that preached this to me seemed to suffer from the very same syndrome.OH this sin thing has kept Christians in bondage for ages.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.-Hosea 4 v 6

Not only will your ignorance cause you harm ,you face the danger of rejecting the true message (by your lack of knowledge) and in your misunderstanding you will also discourage and deceive others.My my my if only Jesus saw you now in the flesh “Christians” How long would he suffer ye?

 

The bible being the mind of God in print,I consulted it.But furthermore I prayed for grace,wisdom and revelation, that in my getting such wisdom I also get understanding.

In my getting,in his sovereignty he brought me to a court room,at first I was confused.Then I recalled a movie I saw once. A few good men, quickly I recalled the  double jeopardy rule (no connection yet).These were to tie in beautifully for me later on in the day.

Stay with me now….For I cant truly do this piece justice until we address the core and that’s sin.

 

Sin

For the interest of space and time look it up if you don’t know what it is.

Effects of sin

-Loss of (but not limited to): (i) Relationships (ii)loss of fellowship with God (iii)ministry/titles/position (iv)loss of rewards etc.

-Sin is harmful to others

But above all else Sin dishonours God.

Perhaps this the most important of all. The person  I honour the most on earth is my Dad,this stops me from doing certain things because I know some of my decisions, my faults and failings will be a reflection of my father and of how he raised me.The man I have become is a reflection of the man who he was in my life when I was growing up.

The notion of honour is widely understood throughout different cultures too.Take the American Marine Corps their motto is semper fi ( Fidelis) latin for “always faithful/always loyal”.Ancient Japanese warriors the samurai would commit seppuku a ritual suicide (sticking a sword through the belly) which would satisfy their bushido (a code of honour) rather than face punishment, humiliation and defeat would rather die.In star trek there is an alien warrior race called the klingons and these are vicious battle minded race  who consider dying in battle an honour and an old  aged klingon is at times flowed upon.”perhaps today is a good day to die” wolf. Okay okay too much. But you get the idea how far honour is important.And you as a Christian should rather die than sin but thank God for Jesus we don’t have to die. 

 

The fact is:

You will sin oh yes no matter who you are saved or not you will sin.

It is purely because of  your sinful nature from birth,what matters is what you do from that state of sin that matters.You are in fact in a court room guilty of sin.Lets see how this plays out.

The judge:

God

God is the Judge. (S)He is just and cool. Yes God is cool,  he is therefore then  Justice because  he is Just and cool  as ice = Just+ice = Justice …….anybody?no?……..okay, tough audience whew!

The prosecutor:

Satan 

“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night”. –Rev 12 v 10

Now this one is relentless,your adversary,the accuser of the brethren you will not bring him down on your own.His track record speaks for itself he brought down Eve with deception in the garden,King David fell victim to lust from bethsheba that caused him to murder an innocent man,oh king Solomon the wisest of them all fell and started worshipping idols and in recent times look at Judas after he finished with him through greed this time,the man hanged himself next through guilt and condemnation . Indeed when he strokes you he is about to strike you.

So be sober minded vigilant you don’t compare.

The defence attorney:

Jesus Christ the advocate

The son of man the captain of my salvation the kinsman redeemer, my lord, my saviour, oh I could go on all day, the scroll opener,the son of righteousness.

It is undisputed Jesus died on the cross for us,for our sins and he rose up from hell conquering death:

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Rom 8 v 34-

Who better to defend you than he who paid for the very crime that you are being charged with?He has done the time for you already the punishment paid in full,why are you even in court?Formalities the law has to be followed, God is just and respects principles you will have due process but still the process must ran.

This is why you need you some Jesus.

  

 

20140118-161428.jpg

In the movie  a few good men Tom cruise went hard on Jack Nicholson’s character just like the enemy will accuse Christians,(and sometimes misinformed Christians towards eachother and unbelievers/backsliders) you need to be bold in you answer and tell him ” you can’t handle the truth!!” earlier on in the movie he told Tom cruise’s character how he was so bad,dangerous and unafraid of him. He said:

“I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans, who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge and make me nervous.”

You should tell the devil:

“I make my coffee every morning,eat cereals and porridge oats with my cup of tea along side Jesus in my kitchen.The shower I am in is guarded by angels so don’t think you can come in here with your demons and make me nervous” 

But you need you some Jesus,that alone without Jesus wont be enough,they can’t convict you or condemn you with something that Jesus already paid for. That’s double jeopardy.

God is just he wont allow that.To those that struggle with sin conciousness the very plague even in the church, no, the very plague especially in the church ,do me a favour confess, repent and get on with your life walking with God.Guilt and condemnation are not from God.

Confession (n) is to simply agree with,to admit,to acknowledge,be of the same mindset,

For continued fellowship (walking intimately with God by active faith) sin is to be removed by God through confession. Then you are forgiven.

Note however this is not a license to sin 

So shall we then continue to sin ?

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” -Rom 6 v 1-2- 

The point of repentance is that you highlight  the wrong doing in an effort not to continue doing it and this is why this is important:

Dangers of continued sinning ; (i) treats sins lightly and ignores its evil destructive potential and consequences both on God’s glory and our fellow man (ii) ignores God’s primary plan for us to transform us into Christ like image (iii)It ignores and forgets God’s discipline (iv) misses the whole point of confession which is confess to identify and stop the sin.

 

And if anyone or anything including yourself tells you otherwise here is the answer you should have…

you can’t handle the truth……………….its double jeopardy.

What do you do when God says marry a prostitute

Reading the Old Testament can be heavy reading though illuminating and none is more so than the book of Hosea in which Hosea’s marriage is used as a symbolic synonymous thing to the situation with Israel at the time around 772 BC.

 

Hosea was a Prophet who among other things was directed to marry a, lets just say. not a very faithful woman.He subsequently divorces her for infidelity and goes about his business preaching and prophesying.Having been separated from her husband she has got herself into more mess somewhere doing what she does best.And one day Hosea is just minding his own as one does he hears from the lord again;”Hey hosey,you know that ex wife of yours? the one that was always running around on you? yeah her,well look here go get  her back and not only that you got to pay top dollar for her as well“. whooo!!! whoah!!! I mean back up a little bit here,today thats the equivalent of buying your no good ex from her pimp and on top of that we learn Hosea took the decision not to be intimate with her(there is a point to why I mention this).

 

what do you do when God says marry a prostitute,really, let that sink in for minute,…………..no longer than that,I said a minute let that sink in and settle for a little bit.

 

The scripture says: 

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley, Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.” Hosea 3v1-3 

I know that most of this has to do with Israel and what was going on at the time  and that Hosea’s marriage was symbolic to what was going on at the time. God was using each stage to show how Israel had been unfaithful and how he would eventually restore them,however I wonder what Hosea must have been going through at this point.The people talking behind his back and all that stuff I mean the situation must have been hell for him, well,I am sure you can imagine.

 

It wasn’t until I notice something that amazed me.You and Me. We,us are infact the prostitute. Being bought back.Ah yes, that changes things a little bit doesn’t it?For the longest time we have  been Redeemed by God and Restored so many times,from situations in our lives that in each time we ended up by fault of our own,whether by bad decisions,chose to let bad people into our lives and at times fallen victim to evil people that turned our lives upside down.

In the midst of hurt and pain he still comforts us,nursing us back to health slowly but surely,replacing the stuff we lost along the way as we go,promising us hope and a good future if only as the prostitute we return back to him,this is a choice we are given,she could have stayed but she chose not to,she was wise enough to return to one who even if she done him wrong so many times,he was still willing to spend coin and crop to get her back home.

That is God for you,will you not turn and return to him?even in our unfaithfulness he remains faithful.

 

Redemption:  

The process of the verb below ;

Redeem (i) to save someone from sin, error, or evil. (ii)gain or regain possession of something in exchange for payment.

Restoration:

The act of returning something to a former owner, place, condition or state.

Often in the bible this meant not just bringing it back to the original but better,if you stole something you had to pay back more in value that was the process of restoration and  the principle remains the same.

 

Worth noting that when (Gomer ) Hosea’s wife was bought back she was told that the very thing she thought would be used to pay back her husband with(the primary thing at least) he was not interested in.I am sure with her character and mindset the only curreny she had to bargain with was her feminine charm, or so she thought.But she was shown otherwise, (won’t God change your life?)  who does that remind you of??   wanting to earn God’s goodness,news flash you ain’t got it and even if you did,he don’t want it.

 

I am hoping by now the answer is obvious but still I ask

What do you do when God says marry a prostitute?

 

 

God ain’t your grand daddy

Grand Pa the kind loving figure,who always has a gift for you,cuddles you,tells you these amazing stories whilst sitting on his lap.Smells a bit funny but always feels safe in his arms.I remember my Grand dad,always felt protected around him he could even defend me against my parents and they listened it was great.A certain familiarity,able to shape him and perhaps manipulate him a bit with a smile.

Recently a post caught my eye in passing and I was engaged .Now this was a writer who wears their heart on their sleeve,more like myself probably why I was attracted to their content in the first place.The more I read the more I related to them,what was interesting though was how they had managed to twist the image of God to fit around a fix for the troubles they faced.It was apparent they wanted to have things their way and when that didn’t go the way they thought  excuses were made for God as to why he didn’t meet their expectations , Scriptures were quoted out of context to fit the results hoped for.

I mean this thing read like a blueprint for God to follow in fixing  the challenges of their life.

Then I had a  Luke 15v20 And when he came to himself…… I had a moment of truth

Beating the Pharisees at their own righteousness game:  Matt 5 v 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

I was ashamed of myself at how judgemental I was and how self righteous I had been.My perfect self, roaming around passing judgement on others,how dare I?Then I read some of my own writing and oh boy that did it.It was time to confess. I was being hypocritical.

Later on I started to think, I mean really think, on how I react to my own trials,it was a time to have a sit down with my black handsome self and have a little chat.

In my trials I went from being SELF RIGHTEOUS which then gave me a sense of SELF ENTITLEMENT which only served  to get me into the WILDERNESS and the length of time in this dry place promoted my PRIDE and in the end after not getting my way and what I wanted, I was just angry,angry,angry  ANGER. 

In Steps my:

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS:My judgement of others led me to believe that I was somehow better than others.After all I never put God in a box,I am strong,a lesser man would have blown his brains up,look at this fella crying here if he only knew what I am up under in here,I am still worshipping in the midst of my trial really Limbiley? I mean really?

SELF ENTITLEMENT:My established notion of being “better” made me special right off,so I am owed   something,meaning I could pick and choose the blessings I want after all I am better and owed something,a reward is due to me for being good, mmmhhhh!!!! But God don’t owe you nothing( excuse the lingo).

THE WILDERNESS: Imagine my surprise when ended up in here,oh the dryness,the heat,the vultures picking at my beat up flesh,thorns on my sides,oh ya all don’t know what am talking about.This was the bareness of trying to do things my way and the symbol of the desert like condition of my soul.A complete reflection and oh did it mirror my state of affairs.
 

IN A PROUD STATE:

my refusal to be apologetic

my refusal to be humble

my refusal to be ashamed of my failed self efforts

my refusal to take responsibility of such failed efforts (it wasn’t me)

my refusal to see what I was doing wrong.

 

THEN THE ANGER: The result of the proud person in me not getting the thing they wanted,not getting my way.I must have thought I was Sinatra.Now I am just mad and bitter.

I believe most of us go through these stages in our lives,when we think God ought come and pull us out,and why has he allowed this to happen?oh Bless me Lord!!fix my husband Jesus,I put this boss of mine in your hands heavenly father,God!!!!I bless my enemies!!! really saints? I mean really?Foaming at the mouth and throwing fits,all up in tears all emotional,hear my cry oh Jehovah!!!!

The trouble with us believers is believing that OUR TROUBLES OBLIGATE GOD when they in fact  do not.

That’s right YOUR TROUBLE DOES NOT OBLIGATE GOD.Now he will get you out but you got  to recognize its all because of JESUS and God’s GRACE (john 1v15-17) .Its through God’s GRACE that anything good happens to us.We live in an evil world full of evil things and evil situations inhabited by people that do evil.Evil is all around us. Eph 5v15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

By GRACE you were saved through faith,not by your works,undeserved & unmerited, not your doing Eph 2v8.

By GRACE you are able to cry to God and make your petitions known through prayer.

By GRACE you are able to do great signs and wonders like Stephen in Acts  6v8.    

By GRACE you are strengthened in your weakness.It is when his power is made perfect in weakness 2 cor 2v8-9.    

 

 

I could go on.This is the right dose of  reality and truth needed for our approach to God for a fruitful 2014.Just what the Doctor ordered.Get what you really need and not what you want.Get wisdom and in your getting get understanding.Live stress free and content and have confidence in approaching God the right way.Most of all have the proper attitude and reverence.  

 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4v16 

Just Remember GOD AIN’T YOUR GRAND DADDY.

What do you do as you wait?

What do I do while I wait?

I will sing and praise,I will worship and I will get into the word and I will fellowship.I saw this today “faith makes things possible not easy” Yes.. Yes. We got Salvation through Faith and it was given to us by his Grace Eph 2 v 8.

Grace being a gift is given, and it is that same Grace that should see me through; for his grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in weakness,it then stands to reason that when I am weak I am strong.But my destination is not the problem for I know where I am going and I can foresee my promise coming to fruition because Jesus said it is finished.It is not so much my unbelief or that I am allowing my circumstance to dictate my feelings and thoughts or that my faith is shaken,it is more that this is what I am in right now as I wait:

20131112-142504.jpg

What do you do when you are in this as you wait?

My concern is what condition am I going to be in when I arrive at my destination of promise.

What bruises and scars will remain from the journey?

What  were the lessons learned along the way and what will stick?

Lord I know You and I know your Word But what do I do?I am armed with all this knowledge about this situation,But yet here I am again.I trust in you,I believe and yet I feel the way I am feeling now.

So what do I do as I wait?……………