As our days are …..so is our strenght

Its a cold pain,a chill you feel right in your bones -limbiley-

There is nothing more imaginable like the pain of loss,we have all lost things before but I doubt many appreciate the pain of loosing something that is connected to you.Your fresh and blood.That which is a part of you or at least could have been.

This weekend was beautiful,in the middle England on a cold Saturday morning a man treks through the cold weather with a bag on his shoulder,he has been away and she doesn’t expect him to return home just yet.He has managed to catch the 5:11 transport out just to be with her,if only for that weekend,upon arrival he then rings her and says “look out your window” and a joy spurns in his heart as he sees her red painted fingernails draw the curtains.Much of their day is spent in the shops and they get to meet family and friends,its a productive day.Later these two lovers in essence prepare for a Sunday service,as he irons her grey shirt he is greatful and thankful to heaven for not only the iron but for giving him someone to iron for,in matching suits they step out.All is well and it is good,its obvious the Love and peace is flourishing.

Fast forward a few hours later he must leave her again Because circumstance demands it,Now this is where it gets complicated.You see now on the transport back he gets a txt from a friend,this guy has a wife at home and she is expecting a child,and his txt is thus “i am at the hospital with the mrs” eagerly he answers back congratulating them,cos in essence the water broke and we should be welcoming a new life into the world.

He boast to his other half that he left behind and they jokingly but seriously wonder and consider when this will be them,celebrating and welcoming a new life of their own.

It is not until later that the friend messages back with the words “sorry mate,we lost him my son is gone” they suffered a miscarriage,at 8+ months.

At this point I know that there was a life kicking and very much alive but its gone now,my hopes are dashed and I end arguing with the very person who I was planning to share that experience with,she is my sarah,my other half,my promise,my meet from God, but still I am afraid, coz you see now am afraid of how its going to be should the very thing that happened to my friend happens to us.

He calls me later 0800 hours he seems okay and I admire his braveness,but deep down I know he is hurting,such pain cuts deep and its a chill that sets in the bones.

I could only comfort him as best I know how,with the word of the Lord.

I then remember something else,as our days are so is our strength,so I was praying the wrong prayer,the evil worrysome day is upon us,how do we get through it?

as our days are ………..so is our strength.

Advertisements

………….but God

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. -Joseph-

I do not think there is anybody out there who has questioned more about the things that happen in my life and thier significance.If anyone of you have read any of my post you may feel the conflict,the hurt,the confunsion,the crazyness the …….

Last couple of years have been challenging to say the least for me I experienced personal loss in any and possibly every aspect of my life.I lost people dear to me (death etc),finances,career,business,you name it I have lived it.The only thing I haven’t lost yet is my health and my mind though questions may be raised to the latter.

Its funny though I have been reflecting on how exaclty I got to this point in my life.Upon further investigation I realised that it wasn’t so much how? when? who? what? wherefore? … but why?
And then I found the answer to this wonderful question.All this time I just was wondering running around quite the headless chicken.And the answer was right under my nose.
Dont you just love it when it all comes together!!!!

The reason I have had a hard time these years is ………..drum roll………I dont know.
I do not know.

What I know is that throughout all this I have had a but God moment.
Everyone has something in them that will not allow them to give up or give in.No matter what your beliefs are. I know everybody beleives in a higher power of some kind.

I find it funny,remember the last time you hit that little toe on the door? hurt like hell didn’t it? whose name did you call out to? or that time you were stuck in traffic and late for work you went Oh my …..

Anyway whatever your beleifs its not important, I just saw something through my tough times,I had a but God moment.Looking deeper I saw several times/situations when & where things could have gotten worse but they didn’t.These were things out of my control and there was really nothing I could do to change the trajectory,something in me just knew that it was not my doing.
Ever get the feeling you have a guardian angel?

I know another thing I was always afraid,and this fear was only visible to a perhaps only one or two people if that.On the outside everything was ok I was happy,smilling,laughing, but going to bed was a different matter all together.I was constantly afraid of loosing it all.All that which I thought had value and I couldn’t live without.And guess what? It happened.

Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.-wikipedea-

As a person of faith I beleive that no matter what happens to me I will be okay,…in the end.I just thought it important to take a minute and recognise the omg moment of our lives,am talking about that moment in your life where its all going wrong and you are saying if one more thing goes wrong today …“I dont know what am gonna do”.Then something unexpected positive happens.

No matter what your personal beleifs are I am sure we have all had this moment.
Whether you credit to the Easter bunny,the tooth fairy,Zeus,budha it doesn’t really matter the moment was there regardless.

For me living without fear has allowed me to rebuild my life into that which was better before,and the pun is I can see better results in my efforts now than there ever was last 10 yrs put together.Am I back where I was before?of course not I am heading to a better place. I am in a much better place than before I have a sense of peace I never had before.And that alone was worth the price of admission.I have learnt to value that which matters the most.

I wish I could tell you there is a reason why all this stuff happens, I don’t know that.
I wish I could tell you its an easy time going through transformation I would be lying…it hurts.
I wish I could tell you you wont be confunsed,but you will be,even more so than before its a process.

All I can say is keep going,when you are in a desert keep walking.Nothing lasts forever.No matter what life throws at you,even and especialy the bad negative bits,though they were meant for evil…………………..

……………………………..but God.

What do you do when God says marry a prostitute

Reading the Old Testament can be heavy reading though illuminating and none is more so than the book of Hosea in which Hosea’s marriage is used as a symbolic synonymous thing to the situation with Israel at the time around 772 BC.

 

Hosea was a Prophet who among other things was directed to marry a, lets just say. not a very faithful woman.He subsequently divorces her for infidelity and goes about his business preaching and prophesying.Having been separated from her husband she has got herself into more mess somewhere doing what she does best.And one day Hosea is just minding his own as one does he hears from the lord again;”Hey hosey,you know that ex wife of yours? the one that was always running around on you? yeah her,well look here go get  her back and not only that you got to pay top dollar for her as well“. whooo!!! whoah!!! I mean back up a little bit here,today thats the equivalent of buying your no good ex from her pimp and on top of that we learn Hosea took the decision not to be intimate with her(there is a point to why I mention this).

 

what do you do when God says marry a prostitute,really, let that sink in for minute,…………..no longer than that,I said a minute let that sink in and settle for a little bit.

 

The scripture says: 

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley, Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.” Hosea 3v1-3 

I know that most of this has to do with Israel and what was going on at the time  and that Hosea’s marriage was symbolic to what was going on at the time. God was using each stage to show how Israel had been unfaithful and how he would eventually restore them,however I wonder what Hosea must have been going through at this point.The people talking behind his back and all that stuff I mean the situation must have been hell for him, well,I am sure you can imagine.

 

It wasn’t until I notice something that amazed me.You and Me. We,us are infact the prostitute. Being bought back.Ah yes, that changes things a little bit doesn’t it?For the longest time we have  been Redeemed by God and Restored so many times,from situations in our lives that in each time we ended up by fault of our own,whether by bad decisions,chose to let bad people into our lives and at times fallen victim to evil people that turned our lives upside down.

In the midst of hurt and pain he still comforts us,nursing us back to health slowly but surely,replacing the stuff we lost along the way as we go,promising us hope and a good future if only as the prostitute we return back to him,this is a choice we are given,she could have stayed but she chose not to,she was wise enough to return to one who even if she done him wrong so many times,he was still willing to spend coin and crop to get her back home.

That is God for you,will you not turn and return to him?even in our unfaithfulness he remains faithful.

 

Redemption:  

The process of the verb below ;

Redeem (i) to save someone from sin, error, or evil. (ii)gain or regain possession of something in exchange for payment.

Restoration:

The act of returning something to a former owner, place, condition or state.

Often in the bible this meant not just bringing it back to the original but better,if you stole something you had to pay back more in value that was the process of restoration and  the principle remains the same.

 

Worth noting that when (Gomer ) Hosea’s wife was bought back she was told that the very thing she thought would be used to pay back her husband with(the primary thing at least) he was not interested in.I am sure with her character and mindset the only curreny she had to bargain with was her feminine charm, or so she thought.But she was shown otherwise, (won’t God change your life?)  who does that remind you of??   wanting to earn God’s goodness,news flash you ain’t got it and even if you did,he don’t want it.

 

I am hoping by now the answer is obvious but still I ask

What do you do when God says marry a prostitute?

 

 

Thou shall not worship iphone

20140102-200944.jpg
It was the first day of 2014, in a crowded  family room and one the wisemen in my family asked the screaming young ones in an effort to settle them down,that if they collectively name the 10 commandments they would get a treat. It was then that my 5 yr old cousin went “you shall not worship iphone.” We all paused then burst out laughing,obviously confused he went  “yes! mommy told me”.

This on the drive back home got me thinking about  idols in general.

They say home is where the wi-fi connects,thus if you enter any household and the wi-fi connects you are in fact home.This then means that where you get home and the shopping is put down then afterwards its settling down time when everyone gathers in the living room for a little family time.The TV comes on and after a few minutes you notice no one is fighting over the remote or on what to watch and it is in fact 4 or more of you present. Curious because the TV is as much 3D as it is Smart  and  measuring at about 51 inches,it should be an attractive notion to look at,I am thinking.

Now this is odd to me because growing up there would always be a fight for the old  TV,one wants to watch Michael Jackson on the VHS,the other wants to play a game on the Sega,but its news time etc etc.

Upon further inspection you realise you are on your smart phone and your other half on hers/his.The other 2 are equally as engaged in their own activities one is their on handheld games console and the other ones are just as busy on the several tablet in the household (naturally).The TV is just  there  purely to guide you where the furniture points towards.Perhaps a little background noise with all these +boxes,+decoders,recordable gadgets no one really watches TV like before,at least I don’t.

Looking at my phone and seeing how much time I spend on it was an eye opener,though I don’t worship my phone per se, it got me thinking about how Israel was taking God’s gifts given to them and using the very same blessings to worship other gods with.

I refer to the time they melted all the jewellery they had and made a golden calf out of that.(I find it interesting that the very first tablet was broken at this point, remember Moses threw the tablets in anger and they broke, hidden message perhaps?I don’t know.) Now don’t go getting excited throwing  all your  gadgets around now breaking everything in sight, now that would just be silly,and I am not saying they are evil either.People do evil,Gadgets ………not so much.

 

 

 IDOLATRY:

 In theology it is the worship of idols, In general others define it as great devotion, reverence or excessive admiration.
 
I wonder just by solely on the definitions above, what is your idol?
To some of us its our other half,to others its our jobs,others its money,others its our car,others their kids,or is it that rock/rap/pop star(bieber anybody?),a single malt,jimmy choos,could be that PS4 that’s causing all the fights already coz you up till 6am,could be the girl in the next office cubicle,or the Starbucks guy that got you buying Cappuccinos and you don’t even drink coffee.
So what is your idol?
 to quote Joshoua 24v15 As for me and my house we will serve the lord. So I say to you all
                      thou shall not worship iphone (lol).
 
 
 
 
 
Disclaimer:I used the iphone, Playstation for illustrative purposes only and because I  do own and use such  said products  while I  personally see them to be superior products than their  rival counter parts, this is just a personal view only and is not meant to be taken as a form of advert/promotion of said products.Neither do I deem such products as EVIL or  of any  such influence.Definitely not a pair of shoes and certainly not Justin B :).
               Happy 2014  to you all,its gonna be a great year.
Disclaimer
      

The “real” Christmas Day the 26th

Now that that’s over with;
The fake people, fake affections, polite conversations, it all starts to creep back up and real life begins to return but it really won’t hit till early January.

A fellow blogger pointed out something about Xmas that reflected my feelings completely,how she put it again? oh yeah “cruella deville all year long and want to smile at Xmas”. All this stuff  about its a special time of year that we show our loved ones that we truly care and appreciate them makes me sick.Question comes to mind then that isn’t this something we should be doing all year round anyway?

I mean I don’t need a special day to prove to my loved ones that I care about them and fellas if you are using this day to show how much you care for your ladies/family then something is wrong there as it is equally for the ladies who put a spread and look after everyone for this day alone then after the presents and dinner is done its back to you now who,to the family members that will go back to ignoring each other all year round till yeah ……..you guessed it,next Xmas.

Now I do believe periods like this and birthdays, anniversaries should not go unmarked and uncelebrated,it just has to be for the right reasons.We live in a society today where everyone is looking for an excuse to either party or celebrate something to justify spending money.

We have an office party,hair,nails,dress,new tux,refit the kitchen.

My cat made a friend gonna throw a do invite the neighbourhood.You get the idea ridiculous stuff.

Clearly Christmas has lost its true meaning a long time ago,I mean its all about people rushing in bad moods in shopping, family members getting  together exchanging presents,eating,drinking and that’s it really. I do  however take advantage of today,its a day for me that sales are on and I see it as my real Christmas day,and it has a been a tradition of mine to go out spending and get whatever I want as long as I can get a good deal then why not?

Its a relief,you should be able to just get out there at  any time of the year and get what you want if you can afford it of course,same goes for showing love for one another,why wait for a “special day” these are things that should be done everyday,anyway.

Makes me loathe Christmas day  for what society  has made it  become and what it represents,the way it changes people really evil on the days before (especially in rushed last minutes shopping cause you just cant turn up without a present now can you?) and extremely pleasant on the day then,well back again yo yoing around,I can’t stand that and people like that.

Where are all the real people gone to these days?

So today I go forth and keep the tradition going to get something ridiculously priced just coz I can,no excuses,no pressure as today is my “real Christmas day the 26th”

Suppose I am alone in this.I wonder what other’s do today besides fight and be depressed ,or return the kid(s).It can be a sad time of year.

This one is on God

I have never fully embraced the idea of letting go completely.
I mean the idea of someone running my life while I watch sitting idly by is insane

Define insanity. Insert here ___________.

A Ladybird once told me that insane runs in the family.I said to her ;”wait a minute now,if you know me like you know me then you know that insanity does not run in the family but it strolls around introducing itself whilst it gets to know each member of the family personally.If anything it takes it’s time,it never runs”.

One would then conclude that I have then always been insane anyway,therefore I am in my zone.

So I say this one is on God

For you maybe sitting there mourning the loss of a Job,the house is going too,my marriage is gone,my health ain’t what is used to be and the car is making a noise even the coffee is too hot.You know you got it bad when even your cup of coffee has it in for you.

I then look on the wall and I literally and figuratively see the word restoration.

That then reminds me that if you had a Job once then you will get another one.
If you once bought a house,then you gonna get it back again
If they have left then well ….they weren’t for you coz that which is truly for you wouldn’t leave even if it could,and that which is for you has a supernatural way of finding you.
That noisy car well at least you got a car.
If it’s health I don’t know whether it’s going to be medicine or miracle healing but I just know you gonna get better.
The coffee is still a bit tricky,that may take me a minute to figure out.

No matter what it looks like I know you are going to get it back again,in one form or another.

What do you do when you are broke and broken?
-You place your order and leave the tab to your Father for;

THIS ONE IS ON GOD!!!