For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened–mark 6 v 52-
Often I have wondered how people who walked and witnessed the wonders and miracles performed by Jesus Christ would still be amazed at how he could still walk on water after just feeding 5000 men (excluding women and children),among healing the sick,the blind and water into wine thingy.
Little did I know I was about to get my answer in the most painful way and have to live it.
I like Israelites and Peter boasted.One of them proclaimed “whatever u command us to do we shall do“ and the other said “I will never leave u Lord never forsake you,oh no…not moi”
The first led to the law of Moses being introduced at Mt Sinai and 3000 of them died the latter denied knowing him 3 times..Did they “eat” their words.
Fast forward 2000 years + later and am eating mine.
See am having a Jerry Maguire moment right now but instead of shouting the infamous “show me the money ” am shouting the rather not so famous “help me…help you” but I recognise God doesnot need or require my help to help me neither do I posses any help within myself to help myself so am crying
“Lord help me ….help me help myself for I recognise I have a hardened heart”
Now see times were when I would simply say the devil made me do it,or it’s warfare or it’s the will or rather not the will,little did I know the heart was richly responsible.
A hardened heart is :-
i)insensitive (ii)cold (iii)unfeeling (iv)unyielding
Symptoms of a hardened heart
Inability to understand,perceive,see,hear,think and assess situations and circumstances clearly.
One has become somewhat dull to the senses both spiritual and sensual.
Now am in trouble for the senses that connect me to the world both spiritual and sensual are not working and can’t be trusted.
See I can “feel” by touch,taste,smell and sight.But watch this now even the “sight” am warned not to walk by it,but rather walk by faith.This then leaves me with hearing.For faith Cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
But hear me now am dulled because my heart is hardened I cannot “hear” and now more than ever I need to hear a word from God (himself) and not just the word of God from someone.
They didnot even consider the miracle of the loaves for their hearts had become hardened….all this time seeking and walking with Christ then this happens …..desciples I feel you now.
This is painful for I am lost,blind,deaf and my mind is numb,even worst my spirit is equally troubled.
Lord…help me ….help me help myself for my heart is hardened.